Who else loves listening to music besides me? I love music because it often expresses feelings I hold inside and cannot express verbally or even in my writing. Music enlightens the soul. Even harsh music has a purpose in providing an acceptable venue for issues, just as art provides a venue for creative expression. Because I love music, I listen to the radio a lot, Sirius Radio is my favorite. With music I hear commentary from various stations and get a "feel" for the announcer and the audience.

It seems like there are a lot of people in this audience who are very concerned with the appearance of being "cool". By encouraging "cool" are you not becoming a proponent of discrimination? Though these radio shows are providing the music that opens doors to communication and freedom of expression, they are at the same time so self limiting if they are allowing their own feelings of worthiness in the "cool" factor to dictate their words and behaviors.

True we all need to conform to basic society rules for there to be order. and harmony But following rules does not mean you have to give up every semblance of being "different" to conform to "the cool factor".  Isn"t that what bulling is all about? Targeting people who are not as good as you are, not a "cool" as you are? Should being "cool" even  include waxing your arms (if you are a hairy female) or waxing your chest and back (if you are a hairy man)? One radio announcer said he was turned off by a female he knew who had hairy arms and how he could never have sex with her (not that she would have WANTED to have sex with him which is an egotistical assumption made on his part that I find quite humorous)

So lets say you ARE cool and you do all the things necessary to be part of the elite "cool" society? Lets say you get liposuction, get waxed, get cool clothes, get botox, lose weight, get the best car, the most fans, etc.  What does that get you? You perhaps become a celebrity. What does that get you? Lots of critical people following you around just WAITING for you to make a mistake? Drug and alcohol and relationship problems seem to OOZE out of the celebrity world. Can these people go to a kids party without a drink, or go on a campout without drugs? How sad to be the target of constant surveilance and have a total lack of privacy. "Cool" is not all its cracked up to be.

Think of the cheerleaders and football players in high school.  Sure they are "cool", but they are the first ones to be faced with choices about drugs, alcohol and promiscuity, often before they have the wisdom or maturity to make appropriate decisions, and these "damaged" kids eventually become parents..and how great are they with THEIR kids at that point?  I am a personal trainer. I am not "cool" in many people's opinions because I have a "blue collar" job.

I do not see it that way. I have a college degree in journalism but I chose to do personal training because I love helping people achieve worthwhile goals, not just in weight loss but in other life choices. You get to know your clients pretty well in this process. If I could not associate with anyone who was not "cool", I would have had barely any clients. Most had weight problems and other issues as well and of course fat is not "cool". My most wonderful and dearest friends, were most often the most lacking in financial and social ability. My best client was a victim of a hurricane and she paid me nothing for months of training. But she was and still is a dear friend and an amazing lady. If you cannot see beyond the fat, beyond the hairy arms, beyond the homosexuality, beyond the poverty, then you obviously cannot really "see" the world at all.

The "coolest" people, are not concerned with being cool.  I think if being cool is a criteria for anyone, they are fairly immature. Unfortunately many people judge others based on the same cool factor and it can be intimidating for many if a person does not have a sense of who they are that is strong enough to withstand criticism. I know it personally bothers me when people think that muscular women are actually transgender men because I am muscular and am constantly getting those types of messages on social media. That is pretty messed up. Fortunately I KNOW I am a female and I am not going to show my private parts to prove it. But it still hurts to have the criticisms no matter how much you try to ignore it. But ignoring it makes you stronger. When a person is targeted or criticized or bullied, it is STRONGER to stand your ground, speak to your offender, try to educate them and hold on to who you are inside.

Each of us has a "being" who saw or still sees us as perfect, amazing and real and each of us knows that we have all that love whenever we need it. We do not need to react to others hating on us because we do not need their love or approval. We only need to understand THEIR weakness and be sympathetic for them but strong for ourselves.We do not all need to be celebrities. We can make a difference just being our own true selves. My clients have ranged from homless people to professional football and basketball players. Thankfully these people know ME for who I am and value the services I have provided them and value my moral code as well.

Lady Gaga is an example of such a person who is strong and self assured and unable to be bullied. She is not afraid to be different and to be herself. She is extreemly intelligent and she FLAUNTS her differences, encouraging bullies to show themselves for the uneducated cowards that they really are. If a bully successfully distracts people to jeer at or criticize another person, then maybe others will not look at THEM and notice THEIR flaws. Basically people who are so intent on being "cool" are cowards, afraid to have to stand up to the public eye and be called out for who they are. I am glad there are people like Lady Gaga out there to balance out the need for "cool".  Funny thing is, she has my respect MUCH more than "cool" celebrities. But even she is human and capable of making mistakes. I am sure there are oodles of people, "cool" people just waiting to take her down.

There is nothing wrong with trying to be attractive, be successful, be artistic, be strong, but make sure you are doing it because you want to make the best of who you are, not because you are trying to fit in. The tapistry of our universe would be only one dreary color of grey if not for the rich colors of diversity. And music, art, photography would be monochromatic or monotone if it were censored, or confined to one "cool" criteria. As adults, we do not need to allow ourselves to be bullied by the "cool" factor. We can and should be individuals and should teach that process to our kids, in a humorous, nonviolent way. We should relish dancing to the beat of a different drummer, or at least relish dancing =)

http://www.randygage.com/blog/self-hate/  http://www.linkedin.com/cws/share?url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.randygage.com%2Fblog%2Fself-hate%2F&original_referer=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.randygage.com%2Fblog%2Fself-hate%2F&token=&isFramed=false&lang=en_US&_ts=1331997634084.97

What if you could talk to the TV..or even better, if the TV could talk to you? For example, what if you were having a birthday party for your kid, and a TV commercial came on, and at the same time, they began singing happy birthday to a child about the same age as yours. What if whoever was responsible for sending out the TV signal to your home, also knew all your personal information so that a constant stream of “coincidentally” coordinating information could be sent to you, or withheld from you via TV programming. Wouldn't you feel special?

What if the electronic purchases you made were tracked every day and the printed receipts you signed at the counter arrived with personalized comments exactly like some you had posted on Facebook earlier in the day, What if when you decided to make an extravagant purchase, your card was routinely denied, even though the funds were in your account. Your finances were “regulated by unexplained rejections of your ATM card.

What if your GPS device on your truck was able to videotape monitor your behavior in the vehicle, so that if you started dancing to the music on your radio, out in the middle of BFT Nowhereville, when you arrive in town, a half hour later, a cop would pull you over to say someone called in about your driving, even though there was no one on the road during that entire half hour you drove. Wouldn't you feel so protected?

What if people were smart enough to hijack your phone calls, your emails and even various accounts of friends of yours in the social media network so they could impersonate your friends and communicate with you get to know you very well, and learn how to predict your behavior, and know what you were thinking. Then they could use your behavior, or ideas to create new products, advertising, or even generate TV shows and Movies.

As a matter of fact,"For more than 40 years, NSA, ARPA, GCHQ and the British government Joint Speech Research Unit have conducted and sponsored research into speech recognition. Many press reports (and the previous STOA report) have suggested that such research has provided systems which can automatically select telephone communications of intelligence interest based on the use of particular "key words" by a speaker. If available, such systems would enable vastly more extensive Comint information to be gathered from telephone conversations than is available from other methods of analysis. The contention that telephone word-spotting systems are readily available appears to by supported by the recent availability of a string of low-cost software products resulting from this research. These products permit PC users to dictate to their computers instead of entering data through the keyboard"

Maybe I do not have such a great imagination after all. Who could make up such an idea if all you ever did was raise kids and be a personal trainer right?  If that were the case, and it was a reality that society is being programmed, some might feel grateful that they do not have to bother with that tedious and cumbersome chore of creating their own destiny, because others who do it for them would be so much more proficient at it..right?

In case you are not aware, the Patriot act provides for much of this."Title II authorizes roving surveillance -- that is, a court order allowing surveillance on a particular person allows officers to use any means available to intercept that person's communications, regardless of where the person goes. Previously, a court order would only allow a wiretap on a specific line in one location. Further, it allows the government to order files from the providers of communications services with details about specific customers' use of the service. For example, an Internet service provider can be ordered to provide information on IP addresses, login times and sites visited. Title II also allows delayed notification of search warrants, meaning a suspect's house could be searched while the suspect isn't present, and the suspect would not be notified of the search until after it was carried out."

?After the public revelation of the SHAMROCK interception programme, NSA Director Lt General Lew Allen described how NSA used "'watch lists" as an aid to watch for activity of reportable intelligence interest"."We have been providing details ... of any messages contained in the communications we intercept that bear on named individuals or organisations. These compilations of names are commonly referred to as 'Watch Lists'", he said. Until the 1970s, Watch List processing was manual. Analysts examined intercepted ILC communications, reporting, "gisting" or analysing those which appeared to cover names or topics on the Watch List."

You might think this is good because it “protects” us from terrorists. But now, with the patriot act, this surveillance can be done on ANY citizen, they do not have to be a terrorist. SO, it could happen to you or I. Maybe it is not a concern to most, this surveillance “junk”. But, to play the devils advocate,  in the absence of terrorists, what benefit would come from following” normal “people around without their knowledge?

"We are told that the government is motivated by a desire to enslave the public utterly, to control our responses to preprogrammed stimuli like rats in a maze, until obedience is automatic and unquestioning. The overarching lust for power is what drives the machinations for mind control, and, as "Mind Matrix" ably demonstrates, "they" have the necessary tools to carry out that purpose."

"But there's the rub, of course. Typically, after being subjected to mind control operations, one is usually rendered something less than believable by the unmitigated strangeness of what one has to say. Once your mind has been tampered with in this way, getting the next person to believe you is often quite impossible." Basically, once you become aware of such things, you become less than believable to your family and friends.

We all know how lucrative it was to stalk “celebrities”. Look at the Murdock trials in Europe.

In July 2011 Murdoch faced allegations that his companies, including the News of the World, owned by News Corporation, had been regularly hacking of phones of celebrities, royalty and public citizens. He faced police and government investigations into bribery and corruption in the UK and FBI investigations in the US

"Rupert Murdoch has said his appearance before MPs over the phone-hacking scandal was "the most humble day of my life", but denied ultimate responsibility for the affair. He explained that the newspaper represents less than 1% of his global company, which employs 53,000 "great and ethical" people around the world."

Sounds like one man with a lot of power to me. How interesting. If that level of hacking could happen with only use of 1% of his assets, wonder what would happen if the same strategy was employed on a larger scale.

I mean after all, humanity is the vast unexplored resource. It would mean everything if we knew why someone drank, or lied, or had affairs, or killed. Right? Or how they might vote? If those with the deep pockets were able to “harvest “product from this living, breathing resource without alerting them, and use this information to make decisions about millions of dollars it would help the rich get even richer.

Sky news, was part of the Murdock empire, which also STILL owns a lot of OTHER media including 20th century Fox, and The wall street journal. Those are conservative media. But other newspapers and the movie industry are liberal, Im wondering who wants to control more, and own and make more money.? Hmm isn't that what SOPA was about? Money? So far twitter appears to be basically unaffeliated. It is accessible to everyone and anyone. Except now apparently, in China, where it is regulated.

"China Is Second Country To Applaud Twitter’s New Stance On Censorship

Even in twitter, I guess money still talks...

Definition of a sociopath. "They never recognize the rights of others and see their self-serving behaviors as permissible. They appear to be charming, yet are covertly hostile and domineering, seeing their victim as merely an instrument to be used. They may dominate and humiliate their victims."

All this might tempt you to be afraid or hopeless. Not eveyone is rich or capable of making a difference at the private citizen level. The masses are considered 'dumb". I for one, howver, believe that the masses ARE loved equally and unconditionally, and have equal value as all humankind does. I also believe darkness cannot destroy light. Evil only has the power to destroy itself. I wrote this because I want my contemporaries to be  doing some reading and self education. We can make a difference.

Read Up...and not just Vanity fair =)

The women of Dexter...What if

What if Rita was the way she was (submissive, weak, non-confrontational) because she IS representative of a significant number of women in society today. I know women just like her personally. They get a degree but after college when they become a mom, they stop thinking about their talents outside of parenting. They get numbed into child care, a worthy but much unappreciated role.

The character of Rita is criticized because she did not get Dexter to help at home and because she was too “dumb” to really KNOW Dexter, and in fact thought he was an addict. But think about it, was she really dumb or was she just very caring? A woman who marries a mass murder was duped from the get go. Dexter in my opinion, though he claims to have no feelings, actually is a guy with a conscience because he only kills “bad” people. But what role did his poorly developed conscience play when he deceived Rita about who he really was? Um yeah. Inconsistencies.

And if he DOES have a conscience, (which means he KNOWS he is breaking rules and feels guilty about it (and we know he does because he talks about his “dark passenger”) then he should have symptoms associated with living a life with guilt, such as “frustration, uncontrolled anger, bitterness, excessive shame, guilt, arrogance, envy, jealousy, greed, fear, suspicious nature, inferiority complex, persistent agony or melancholy, mental instability”, OCD or other problems. THAT is how he would be in the REAL world outside of Hollywood. According to Sarah- Neena Koch, these types of individuals lack “a sense of completion. He/she may feel as if trapped in a sequence of actions, a behavioral loop that has no exit option. the state of being disconnected from one's will.

Frederick Toates and Olga Coschug-Toates write about “'extreme appetitive urges' or, as some might call them, 'appetitive compulsions'. This term means such things as apparently compulsive gambling, drug addiction and some forms of sexual activity." “

But Dexter does not show any of this? How misleading and unreal is THAT in his character. His character is much LESS believable than that of Rita in this regard! But what if he does have a chemichal imbalance that is causing his primal urges to be impossible to control?

Interestingly enough, according to scientific studies, a problem in the serotonin system of the body can cause a chemical imbalance in the brain which then makes it hard for the individual to not react to primal impulses such as aggression, sexual activity and other behaviors and often these people exhibit OCD behaviors, and have to repeat behaviors and rituals (such as his breakfast routine). And usually a person who reacts to primal impulses, has more than one primal impulse they react to. They may not just have a problem with relationships, often they also have problems with gambling, or drugs and alcohol.

 According to http://www.heavenministries.com/health/beatdepressionnaturally.htm these problems with Seratonin, can be alleviated by a healthy diet including Salmon and avoiding sugar and alcohol. You are, basically, what you eat, and if you are living on an unbalanced diet, over time,  hormones get out of whack.! Even though Dexter eats the same ritualistic meals, devoid of fruit and veggies, do we see any of this reality in Dexter?

 In real life such a person who exhibits these tendencies has a HIGH likelihood of other addictive behaviors. For example, to match a real life person, what if the producers of Dexter had made him also a drug or alcohol abuser, and abusive towards his wife? They did not. In fact he does not even smoke. Instead they made a man who is amazingly perfect except for one major flaw. And everyone is buying it?

How come Dexter is so “perfect” except for his little flaw of KILLING? Hmm? Im thinking the devils advocate. According to CharmingHealth.com (http://www.charminghealth.com/applicability/guilt.htm) guilt is a normal reaction to breaking societies rules. However whether or not a person feels guilty depends on what their morals are. For example, in a parallel universe, what if Dexter was having multiple affairs as his vice, instead of the vice of being a murderer, and what if he did not consider the feelings of the women (the victims) involved and yet got to know them intimately, just as Dexter had an elaborate killing sequence so he could 'know' his victims.

What if he lied to these women about who he really was, just like he lied to everyone around him in the TV series, about who he really is as a killer. AND what if the goal was to get the target in bed, or get physically involved with women because his dad did the same? What if his dad actually killed His mother?

Do you think any sane woman would get involved with Dexter if she knew this was his destructive pattern? Would society be as fascinated with him as a rapist, or would they instead be less tolerant? It is concerning how the show has desensitized society toward murder, in this by making Dexter such a likable character without including the “real life” behavior garbage that usually accompanies that criminal behavior.

All crimes have victims; some are to a lesser degree. Most involve lying, and all involve lack of a developed moral conscience. Dexter justifies his killing by thinking “those people are bad”. If he were having affairs or raping women instead of killing “bad people”, perhaps he would justify it as well by saying that each woman was a slut or was not happy in her marriage. It is easy to believe that Dexter could be likable as a killer because most people have not met a killer in person.

However many people have met men who have multiple affairs, and they are not held in high esteem and would not be as likable. But killing is much worse than an affair, but society is more forgiving of the worse crime? It is ironic, particularly when so many women like the killer Dexter character. If Dexter had the same rational to justify aberrant sexual behavior as he did for killing he could think that if she did not have sex with him, she would end up getting involved with someone else so it might as well be him.

Or perhaps he would justify it by saying he was in love with her and that the end justifies the means. Would there be such an interest in the “evil personified” character of Dexter if he was a letch instead of a murderer?

And this leads to another question,  how is Dexter so successful at killing and not getting caught? Similiarly, in the real world, why are rapists or people who have multiple affairs so successful at luring more victims and still maintaining a sense of normalcy? I think it is because both are VERY good at lying. If they are accomplished lairs, they will always win at their game, until they either get caught or get reformed by someone they trust who cares about them and is able to break into their thought and transform their moral code.

To understand why Dexter thinks the way he does, it helps to talk about confirmation bias? It means that when you believe something to be true, you look for confirmation of your belief in your immediate environment. For example, pregnant women often never notice other pregnant women until they are expecting a baby themselves. They want information to confirm what they are experiencing as a pregnant woman so they suddenly notice and others that are like them when they never noticed them before, even though there have always been pregnant women walking around.

This is confirmation Bias.

This information about confirmation bias can be useful. Knowing that we inadvertently will seek confirmation of our beliefs can be useful in motivating us to change our beliefs about ourselves so that we eliminate going off in a negative direction. If we have a confirmation bias about being an alcoholic for example and only see ourselves as compared to others who drink to excess, how are we ever going to change our negative behavior?

If Dexter believes he is a killer, he can never change because he will LOOK for supporting evidence in his experience to confirm his role as a killer (Im a killer because my dad was a killer). Dexter needs to realize he was given bad parenting as a child and needs to detach emotionally from his dysfunctional father.

What if someone he met or loved, someone innocent with no agenda, was able to transform that moral code by telling him he was a good person, a good dad, a good lover, and a good friend? If he trusted that person, perhaps he could actually believe in the good within him, because even the most horrendous person is not devoid of some good that can be cultivated and nurtured.

What if Dexter could then start looking for evidence and confirmation that he is, in fact, capable of being different, which would in fact relieve him of his “dark passenger”. He could change his confirmation bias..with help.

The rules of society that in turn create guilt when broken, exist for a reason, because each person's actions can affect another and if it harms another, then a rule gets made. Everyone in society is interconnected, and it is wrong to assume that any person is ever beyond help or can operate outside the rules that benefit everyone. In Dexter s case, To do so would inevitably lead to more and more killings. But a lot of these people start their crimes because they fall through the cracks of society and do not get the attention or love they need at a critical time. Babies deprived of touch will die, even if fed and cared for other ways.

What effects does it have on adults, when they are deprived of real love? Nothing good, according to this source... http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20090313003305AAqaGfa Think of other murderers in society who have done what they did because something happened to flip a switch and they changed. What if someone had gotten to them before they self destructed. Think about it, when that murderer was a child, he did not kill people.

He changed at some point and had to BECOME a killer. In the same way a person can change back to the innocence of a child and know that this change is possible, and that it is his right to do so and will bring him the peace that innocence and honesty brings. It is a liberating feeling, much more powerful than the feeling that comes from controlling others through lies.

Killing and lies bring Dexter a sense of control, but it is a BIG mistake that takes him down the road to misery, whereas honesty would bring a novel, healing feeling of euphoria . But it takes love from another individual to help a liar take the first step towards honesty, because they fear rejection so much. Unselfed love, the highest form of love, can do that. And a person does not have to be Mother Teresa to provide that kind of love.

When an individual run into a person thirsting for truth, they should be given a drink of it so they can see how amazing it feels to be honest. Who is the person in Dexter's life to give him that drink he so desperately needs?

Debra his sister in the series, supposedly has a very strong sense of right and wrong. She is not biologically related to Dexter however she is the biological daughter of the man who raised them both, the man who taught Dexter to kill. More inconsistencies are here. She could be the one to help him but some issues exist with this theory.

How is it possible for her to have the same genes as her dad and not have his similar dark “impulses”, a man who taught her brother to be a murder, and yet she come out completely unscathed? Most families with such significant issues have resulting problems with all the children, not just one. In reality, Debra would also have dark tendencies as well.

What if Dexter really did murder Rita, because he was not in love with her? Or, what if his sister murdered Rita because she knew Dexter did not love her and her dark side is manipulating to protect Dexter from himself? Dexter seemed much more interested in the welfare of the kids than he did of his wife so Debra, if she had a dark side, could justify helping Dexter be rid of the mom. For many reasons, Debra does not seem to be a likely help for Dexter to remove himself from the mess of his life.

Though he claims to be emotionally without a conscience, his love of children, (though with warped parenting skills), is the best chance he as for saving himself, unless he gets incarcerated before. If my assumption that possibly Debra also does not have a conscience is wrong, and she IS ruled by conscience, then she will not allow her personal feelings to be revealed to Dexter because he would not understand it and because it would give her a hidden agenda which would make her suspicious to Dexter.

 If she is capable of understanding how to love him as a brother and help him get what he needs to be truly happy, she will know a sexual love for him cannot come from her, and if it does she is doomed.

Interestingly, every female that has been with Dexter, is dead, except for Lumen, who escaped, and who Dexter cared about. My theory is that if Debra does NOT have a conscience, and has been manipulating Dexter the whole time, subconsciously, and providing him with resources to kill again and again, which helped build her career., then she would be evil, not good, just like her dad. If her character, and its inherent evil, matched that of her family, Dexter and her dad, I think it would be more believable.

What if Debra reveals to Dexter that she is in love with him,? Because of the inconsistencies in her character prevously mentioned, in my opinion, that would make her innocence highly suspect.

If she does get revealed to Dexter as being in love with him, it would be in character of the rest of the family with poorly developed concience, which would then, in the real world, make her a prime suspect, in my mind, of partaking in the murders of other females who Dexter loved, possibly even Rita. Then he would have to kill her too, because then SHE would be bad.

Unfortunately, Dexter will only find his way out of this maze if he can begin his life again by reclaiming his innocence through the eyes of his son. Dexter needs to take his son, and go off the grid, find a new life, a new name, a new environment that is not toxic. Dexter needs to do that for his son, and himself, because the power of confirmation bias against Dexter and his son, from their surroundings,  is to powerful for them to overcome without significant interference. Maybe Lumen, who has good in her and has reformed, will provide the opportunity and the place. What if?