Hi, I'd like to introduce myself. If you're coming to this page for the first time and you don't know anything about me, my name is Melissa and I'm a personal trainer, and I've been a personal trainer basically my whole career since college. I have had clients ask me how I managed to stay in shape after having five kids and they assume that it's because it's my job. Actually though, fitness of body and mind is a lifestyle choice, not part of the job requirements. And you create a much better quality of life for yourself, when you invest in fitness for your body and for your mind. Some people think that genetically personal trainers are just gifted, but I've seen a lot of personal trainers who don't look that great. And I've seen a lot of people who are not personal trainers who look fantastic. All people have the ability within themselves to make a choice to be fit by exercising and to be fit mentally by learning and reading and paying attention to the world around them.
I love reading, I love helping people lose weight and I love people in general. so this career of personal training. along with writing that I'm doing, has been a perfect fit for me. I like my body, it is not a voluptuous one but it is fit, tone and athletic, and I am proud to have maintained it even with having given birth to five kids including twins. I am muscular but lean, but I started off very ectomorph body type and have had to work hard to bring muscle to my frame. To tell you a little bit about myself I'm one of five girls born to my mom in six years, so we are very close in age. My mom looks like Jackie O and my dad looks like a Senator. =) I was born in North Carolina and raised as a Catholic. My dad was a conservative, ran for US congress twice and was a entrepreneur as well as a private pilot. My mom was a full time mom until my dad spent all his savings running for congress, at which time my mom went to work full time for the low income housing authority.
My dad always called us his five beautiful babies and would take us on bike rides and picnics (fried chicken, deviled eggs and strawberry shortcake that my mom made) in the country where he would give us a drawing pad and tell us to “draw the wind'. He taught us to play basketball, kickball and football and encouraged us to try out for guy dominated sports. He said his girls were gonna be accomplished all on their own because he said we should never have to rely on a man to be successful. He also taught us to do what we loved to do as our career because he believed you would be good at it if it was something you loved therefore you would be successful as a result. He made sure we were involved in many wholesome activities like art, tennis and volunteering and even made us get jobs on farms in the summer helping loop tobacco on a harvester. My mom taught us all how to cook, sew and she volunteered to teach PE at our catholic school and took us to visit the old folks home and the home for the mentally retarded. I used to enjoy talking to her as she hung up clothes on the clothesline because we did not have a drier. Still love the fresh smell and the stiffness of jeans dried outside in the breeze. My sisters and I are close with each other and have had wonderful times together and most has been good except for losing my oldest sisters who died giving birth (who knew that happens in this day an age?) My family of sisters are all high achievers each of us wanted to do our best to be successful in whatever are chosen area of expertise was. One sister was a pilot and attorney, another a stock broker, another a marketing VP of a design company, another a realtor.
My degree is in journalism because I really enjoy writing but I find that I get a lot of satisfaction out of helping people achieve goals and weight loss is a very difficult goal for a lot of people. Over a lifetime of helping people lose weight, I have found that am good at helping people achieve that goal. I've done a lot of free fun workout videos on YouTube and I've received a lot of feedback on these videos, most positive some negative. Though most of the feedback is overwhelmingly positive, I feel it is important to help reduce the confusion I am hearing from people who do not understand some of the videos. So the purpose of this little story is enlighten you by sharing a little bit about myself, and to explain the videos so they're not confusing.
I do the videos basically myself, though I have a photographer friend who helps me occasionally. But most of the time I just do these videos for enjoyment and for the creative outlet it provides to me. I also use them to document my continued physical and workout progress personally, and enjoy offering free information to people out in the world who are interested in maintaining their own fitness levels. When I am going to make a new video, I go to abandoned houses, beaches, the mountains, my cabin, my backyard, etc, set up the camera on a tripod, and just videotape myself doing some fun or silly or just entertaining workout. And then I also do the video editing. I have had no training in these areas, so I'm basically a film making amateur and I am sure there's a lot to be desired, but in spite of the fact that they're not professional videos I have a lot of views on the videos and people really enjoy watching them.
Recently, around June 5 of this year, I started getting more than the usual traffic to my videos. One in particular was getting about 250 views a day and it went to getting 5000 views in one day. This by itself was not alarming but at the same time what was alarming was that I was getting death threats as well, through different social media such as YouTube, twitter and even phone calls, as well as personal things happening to me in real life that were scary. It appeared that I had a big time stalker and the stalker appeared to be crowd sourcing many other people to help intimidate me, and to assist in observing my every move, publically and privately.
Now, like most of you, I have never had a stalker, had no idea how terrorizing it can be and was afraid for my life. I went immediately to a variety of sources to try to find help and a solution. I contacted the police, I contacted the FBI, I contacted several private investigators, several attorneys, and I contacted the news media. After months of frustrating dead ends, I have learned that apparently, in this country, unless someone points a gun at you and threatens your life as a terroristic death threat, stalking, cyber stalking is almost impossible to prove and very difficult to prosecute and very difficult to punish. If you have a celebrity status and you can afford to your own high tech investigators, it STILL s very difficult to do. (note what is happening in the Murdoch trials currently) I tried unsuccessfully to hire investigators and attorneys two different times and once they researched the case they said that the best thing for me to do is to remove myself from the electronic world because they said it would make me safer and would be cost prohibitive to try to find and prove the stalker case. Removing myself from the public eye would mean no cell phone, no website for personal training, no email, no gps on my truck, no social business networking and no communication with anyone electronically.
I was told that people who are in the public eye are always eventually going to get people following them and that there is nothing they can do about it. (I have no problem with people following me, but there is a difference between people having natural curiosity, and a STALKER, who electronically is stealing all your private photos, emails and watching you 24 hours a day) They said the reason celebrities are unafraid when they are in the public eye is be because they have hired agencies who manage their social media and public exposure so the celebs don't see personally all of the things positive and negative that come in through the outside world. Since I'm doing my own electronic media, and because I'm not a celebrity, I'm personally seeing all of what's coming in positive, negative and life threatening.
So the solution, according to the authorities is not to catch who is stalking me. Their solution for me is for me to quit living my life the way I have always been living it my entire life. (how is this right? In a country where people who are normal citizens are not able to go about in the normal course of life liberty and the pursuit of happiness? ) I don't accept this as being a good solution and even though I was getting death, threats I decided I was going to refuse to be afraid of a stalker because the stalkers' whole agenda is to terrorize the victim and I'm not gonna be a victim. After doing a lot of research on stalkers, I have learned that a stalker WANTS to terrorize the victim so they go into hiding, and that the BEST course of action for the victim is to go PUBLIC with the situation. I have nothing to hide and I am proud of my life choices so that is exactly what I am doing. In a nutshell, that's why my YouTube videos might appear to be confusing because they have two agendas, one is to promote fitness, the other is to let the stalkers know I am not afraid of them. These videos are my reaction to having a 24-hour “electronically surveillanced” life. I know that the stalker has “crowd sourced” many people and hackers to follow my every move physically and electronically, and I have evidence of it every day but because it's very cleverly and possibly legally done, it is very difficult for me to prove it through traditional methods. I feel like the dreaded concept of Big Brother, has actually been realized and it is shocking and upsetting. Because the Internet is such a new form of stalking the laws and law enforcement in place are not up-to-date or equipped to help protect innocent non-tech society from cyber-stalking.
Because I care about others besides myself, I have learned to ignore the illegal sacrificing of my privacy and I have avoided hiding from the public because number one, I don't think it's going to accomplish anything for the rest of the world not to try to fix the problem, and number two, because I don't think I could hide even if I tried because the techniques being used are too sophisticated. I've tried to hide from the stalker and no matter what I do, I'm still getting evidence that I'm being stalked.
What I have done is to contact every form of help I can, and have received no help in those directions. I have also contacted religious advisers for spiritual support and I am getting a lot of help in that direction. I have replaced my smart phone as many as four times in four mounts and had it scanned for spy-ware jailbreak, plus I've replaced my computer four times as well, and I put all kinds of protection on my computer. I've taped up the camera on my computer so that it's impossible to see through the computer and when I use at my phone I cover up the camera with my fingers. But in spite of this, my words are still being heard and my my image is still being stolen, so I know that somehow I am still being followed.
Some of the times it still feels very very invasive and other times I try to put it out of my mind because over months it can be exhausting and draining, and I have lost 25 pounds and gone from 140 pounds at five feet nine and a half inches, to 115 pounds. It is stressful, for example if you are in your own home having a discussion with your teenage daughter about something that she shouldn’t have done and one of you uses a the F word and then you immediately get a message on your phone telling you to stop using that language. Or if you are having a “private time” by yourself in the bedroom, to to relax and you get a message right away saying “are you having fun yet wet diddle pants?” If you have this happen to you repeatedly day after day, you know you are being stalked and most people would feel pretty stressed over it.
My best friends have been very supportive but also fearful because all of my clients and all of my friends who are aware of the situation are afraid to interact with me because THEY don’t want to be stalked and we do not know who is doing it or how it is happening? It feels really weird to know that somebody out there is videotaping my every move and possibly selling it or sharing it with people that I don't know. It feels very intrusive. I'm not ashamed of my body and I think that being sexy is a natural feeling for women who feel fit, but I'm being attacked for being sexy and I've been told that I've caused the situation for myself by being out on the Internet in a bathing suit. I believe that this is very wrong and backwards accusation, no less wrong than in the dark ages when society told a woman who's been raped that she caused it by what she was wearing.
If someone like me, who has a obeyed all societies laws my entire life, and followed the upright path that is the most productive and beneficial for my family, can become trapped in a stalker situation and received no help whatsoever from the agencies in place, other than to be criticized, and told to go into hiding, then there's something wrong with how our society has a whole has evolved. LIFE? What life does a person in hiding have? LIBERTY? What liberty does a person with a 24 hour stalker have? PURSUIT OF HAPPINESS? How happy is a person receiving constant criticism from a illegal stalker activity? I have five children they're all college kids with careers, one is married, and they are all intelligent athletic beautiful kids who don't use drugs and don't abuse alcohol and show up for work on time everyday to do their jobs to the best of their ability. These kids did not happen by accident, I raised them and they are MY GIFT to society. I do not deserve to have a stalker, I have only given back to society every time I have had the chance.
It is apparent that if you have followed all the rules, it does not matter because no one is helping me now even though I have begged for help. I have lead a very clean innocent life, I am not a drug user, I do not drink, and I have done fitness my entire life, running my own business while raising five kids and running a household. Up until June 5, the worst thing that's ever happened to me other than deaths in the family were speeding tickets. If a respected community member with no negative background or discrimination cannot get help for this situation, then how can someone who is a minority who is racially discriminated against or sexually discriminated against as in the case of gays, or ethnically discriminated against as in the case of Hispanics or religiously discriminated against as in the case of Jews, how can any of these people receive fair treatment? It has been an eye opening experience and in the beginning I was afraid, terrified, then I became angry when I wasn't able to get any help and when every single computer I have got hacked repeatedly and my phone, which is very expensive to try to replace each time, also repeatedly got hacked, I got determined that this is not going to beat me.
Here's how I look at this: a celebrity or an ordinary person who agrees to let cameras follow them around all day long as in the case of the Kardasians, ( for people who want to watch them for entertainment purposes), then that's great because these people are making a lot of money on letting people watch their daily lives. Whoever is watching my life, however does not have my permission and even though I'm not doing anything I'm ashamed of, is not right for someone else to take what is not theirs, particularly when it involves private moments and nudity, and share it with other people for whatever reason that they are doing it. It's illegal and unethical and I believe that somebody out there eventually will come forward because there are still people out there who have a conscience.
So, back to the purpose of this article, when I talk in the YouTube video, or when the music in the background is about wanting to “kill the killer” the killer, that I'm talking about is the stalker who has killed my private life. I have no private life any more. However I don't know how to shoot and the gun in the picture is a BB gun. Lol When I talk about not being alone in hotel room I'm referring to some of the harrassment videos that I've been sent implying I am looking for love. People I do not know are sending me stuff every day because whoever is stalking me , continues to source people to harass me in different ways and because I refuse to change how I dress and the way I promote myself as a personal trainer, I keep getting stuff. I'm being attacked for being someone whom I have always been. I have never changed and I am not going to start now. I am married, and though I have had marital problems with my husband that I am currently working on, I am not ashamed to admit it and I am not going to be blackmailed into being quiet about a stalker. Most people's marriages go through hills and valleys, and having this situation with the stalker has put a lot of additional stress on my marriage.
The first computer that got hacked caused me so much stress that I was having an argument with my husband about how he was not helping me enough to find out who the stalker is and in the process of arguing with him I threw my own computer down on the floor in my own cabin in Colorado to show him how angry I was. Did you know that in the state of Texas and in the state of Colorado, or in any state that the community property state, you cannot throw anything on the floor in your own house because the community property state and you're destroying is half of what belongs to the other person and you can get arrested for it, and it is called criminal mischief? Well I did not know that either, and I am now on probation because of THAT. I didn't throw the computer at my husband I threw it straight down on the floor. Guess I lost my temper, but if anyone out there has had a stalker knows that the level of stalking that I have had can cause intense emotional stress and people who are very stressed can react in anger sometimes. It is understandable, and even a NOT stalked individual throws things on the ground in anger occasionally.
I have learned to be more calm and accept that the situation exists and for the time being there's nothing I can do about it, but I am posting videos to the show my frustration and confusion with the situation and hopefully someone will come forward who knows something and help me resolve the situation. I don't want to punish whoever it is doing it, I do not want retaliation, I just want justice which means I want it to stop. I have learned to disassociate myself personally from what is happening to me so that I do not focus on the fact that someone is following me, but still, it's very curious to me how they can be so fascinated with my fairly routine and boring everyday life. However what IS very upsetting to me, is that this sort of thing could actually happen to anyone and there's nothing anyone else could do about it and someone else might have a real problem with people knowing everything that they're doing in their private life. What if this was happening to YOUR sister, or YOUR mom, or YOUR daughter? It would drive you crazy! It's like society finally has the big brother concept that we've always been fearful would come into existence, where anyone in power, can just see what an ordinary citizen is doing at any point in time whether there are supposed to be able to or not, and there is nothing that citizen can do about it.
Watching somebody else have sex when they are not giving you permission to do that, to me is extremely perverted, but there are lot of weird people out there so I guess there's a market for that type of information. I get the feeling that there's definitely a market for whatever it is that they're watching about me because I walk around my house naked I send naked pictures to my husband and when I'm alone I don't stop having sex by myself, so and if that makes me a bad person when I'm doing what I do in my own house, in the dark, on an isolated 8 acres of land, then the whole world is bad. Because when you're in your own house you should be able to do whatever you want to do that's acceptable to you and your spouse and your family and it's not up to someone on the outside to determine whether what you're wearing is too scanty or two provocative or two sexy or appropriate.
Also on the video, where I talk about “there's no wolves” the stalker has created hundreds of fake stalker profiles, many with the name of Melissa Wolf and I found this through backtracking on my research as I document everything that's coming to me. Other profiles have named me a couple of other things besides a Wolf, they've called me a cat, they've talked about riding the horse or driving the car so I'm either getting ridden or driven (sexual innuendos) because the stalker knows my sexual habits they are having a heyday with that info, and I think that though sometimes it's humorous, most times it's really hurtful the things that come my way with regards to the stalking, such as my boobs are too small, my nose is ugly, my eyes are too close together, Im too fat, etc etc, and now because I've been public out it, I'm getting even more “unsolicited feedback” from people that I don't know. I appreciate the feedback I get that is concerned or helpful but overall I just get harassed. And people that I do know personally are either very rude, or are more fearful than ever before and don't really know how to help me.
Fear is not the answer. The only solution in my mind is to have a political response that takes into account the rights of people regarding the Internet and protecting people from the problems of cyber stalking on the Internet and I have appealed to people in the political arena. What's very interesting is that I've received a lot more support from the left-wing group of individuals because apparently they know more about how it feels to have persecution and discrimination... blacks, gays, women, people in the green movement, have been very supportive, whereas the conservative political venue that I grew up believing in, all about law and order, have suprisingly been very hostile and have said that I created this situation for myself and that I should immediately stop being in the public eye and go back to being a stay at home mom, and I should be ashamed of myself and that I should pray to God and that I'm going to hell. All of this condemnation, indignation, and discrimination towards me is completely inappropriate and bogus and that's what I'm getting from the conservative side (when they even bother to acknowledge me) That, to me, is very hypocritical that the conservatives talk about life liberty and the pursuit of happiness but it's only life liberty and the pursuit of happiness if you're a white male in power in a political party. They call themselves patriots, but anyone who is not of the same political view is not a “patriot”. Well I take issue with their use of that word, because I AM a patriot but I'm also a woman and I'm very much about the pursuit of happiness and liberty for ALL citizens, not just conservatives.
I should be at liberty to pursue whatever turns me on in my own home without fear of being watched through electronic media . Listen to some my videos which are posted on my YouTube Channel, HoustonWorkout, and are posted on one of my three twitter accounts, including MelissasWorkout, because these are my nonverbal acknowledgments to these cyber stalkers. I am no longer afraid of them and there's nothing they can do to me physically that will change how I feel or that is any worse than what they have already done. The stalking has been as invasive as if they came in physically and raped me in my own home but actually I think that what they're doing is far worse because I believe they're selling viewing rights to whatever it is that they're stealing from my private life and this behavior is going to erode the very moral fiber of society that so many people are supposedly trying to protect. It is the ultimate hypocracy.
I am sad that there's people out there who know what's going on and are not taking any action to protect their own women and sisters and daughters from the same thing because if it can happen to me it can happen to YOU, or someone YOU know. The townspeople here have joked to me about how entertaining I am to them... it might be humorous to people who don't really know what's going on and because I am now in a small very conservative Colorado town and the townspeople that I don't even know have come up to me and laugh in my face...well sticks and stones is all I have to say and you should be ashamed of yourselves. Probably they don't mean to hurt me by saying the things they say, but they would not KNOW any of these things about me if my private life was not being blatantly exposed against my will for the entertainment of the masses.
And if they see me walking around naked it's not because they're looking in my windows because I'm in the middle of of Valley and there's no home anywhere close to mine. And I'm all alone so however they're seeing what's going on, it's not because I'm parading scantily clad in the general public. When I go out into town in the summer, I always dress to my own taste and I think that in America, people are allowed to wear what they choose right, even if some think the clothes are too sexy? I might think YOUR clothes are too frumpy but I do not tell YOU how to dress because that is YOUR freedom too!
So if you're reading this article I want you to imagine how you would feel if every day he knew somebody was seeing everything you were doing and commenting on it to you and if you would handle it any differently than I am handling it? Would you feel stressed? Would you feel disillusioned with society? Would you feel hopeless? Would you feel angry? Would you go into hiding? I would love to know what you would do that's more constructive than what I've done! I've handled this as best I can by contacting all the authorities, trying to get help from people I don't know by being public and producing videos to show how I feel about what's going on, and continuing to try to live my life as a good citizen. In the beginning I did not want to talk about it because I believed that the FBI needed to be able to operate discretely, without me drawing attention to it, but now I have less confidence in receiving any help from the authorities so I'm being more verbal about what's going on. I have had people contact me who have had stalkers themselves and they are always the most understanding. If you've never had a stalker you don't really know what it's like and you really can't judge the situation to and its full impact, but it is really helpful for you to do your own research on the behavior of somebody who has had months of stalking, and according to the authorities this could go on for years. If you have seen a black market, video featuring sexy personal trainer Melissa I would love to know how you received that video or photo because the only videos are out there that I'm able to find are the ones that I've produced myself, and the only pictures that are out there that I'm aware of are the ones that I've posted on my website. Any private pictures I have only sent to the one that I love.
I want to let my community know that I do not appreciate their treatment of me in what to me is a serious and life threatening situation not only for me but also for my family and I ask you to put yourselves in my shoes before you talk to me or laugh in my face. ARE YOU BEING THE CHRISTIAN YOU PROFESS TO BE? I am not really here for Your entertainment and that I would appreciate more of a thoughtful caring response from you, more along the lines of what the youth in the community have done because they are a lot more caring than their older counterparts and they understand about not hiding and not being afraid more than their parents. Thank you to them and to the people at the diner who have been very friendly and helpful and the people at the church who also have been very helpful.
Online, unfortunately the people who throw the Bible at me to me the most, are very hypocritical because they've been the least helpful and judgmental. I am a very spiritual person and I've been very conscientious of developing my spiritual relationship with God and of promoting it with my children encouraging them to be good citizens, but sometimes I have to wonder if God is seeing what's going on and if he is, why am I'm being sacrificed, when all I have ever tried to do is be kind and loving? For some reason there is always a target, or a human sacrafice before society gets fired up to make a change, as in the case of Casey Anthony. But the one targeted is helpless. And if I go down that road I can get really sad and depressed however I don't accept feeling helpless, and I'm still going to do my best to enjoy living my life, helping my clients as much as I can until they are not afraid to work out with me, writing my book and enjoying my workouts.
I still enjoy meeting new people and I still enjoy spending time with my kids and my family so I don't choose to let this daily “supervision” of my activities destroy my personal happiness. I see it as an opportunity to try to make a difference for people like me who don't have a voice and I feel extremely strongly about that when you feel powerless against something that's completely unfair and completely wrong and nothing gets done to resolve it, you BEGIN to start to understand what it means to be discriminated against. This discrimination that something wrong has been done to you which you are powerless to control and is completely unfair and unfounded, gives you a whole new respect for trying to express love to people that deserve to be loved who, for whatever reason, are getting discriminated against. It is an awakening of sorts, and nothing is going to make me go back to seeing things the old way because that vew was an ignorant one. I'm not saying that all conservatives are ignorant, but I'm saying that as a conservative I just accepted everything that was given to me from politicians and I personally never verified anything and never really understood the issues from the point of view of the discriminated against.
It's a life changing experience and I feel ashamed that it's gone this long before I've become aware of it, that is taken me my almost my whole life to realize that I've led a pretty charmed, happy existence completely oblivious to the suffering of the people around me. Discrimination is not physical abuse but it does create mental suffering just like cyber stalking. It creates mental suffering and it takes a very strong person to be resilient and handle that and I'm very proud of how those discriminated against are trying to help society progressed beyond the ugly face of discrimination in a calm and caring manner. My five children have been wonderful and my husband has tried to help us much as he can and I feel sure there will be a resolution to this. In the meantime I'm gonna keep being the person that I've always been. I haven't changed. Just because I got arrested for throwing my own computer and it's called criminal mischief, and just because I had to go to court ordered counselor , does not mean I have changed, it means I am now MORE passionate about what I KNOW to be true. The counselor by the way, who evaluated me said after one session and said there's nothing wrong with me and only wants me to come back if I feel I need with trying to reduce the stress that I'm experiencing from the stalking situation and from the curious, intrusive townspeople. My probation is for a year so even if I wanted to escape from the electronic presence I could not because the courts are following me around now as well through the probation office and I cannot go anywhere without letting them know where I'm going. I am grateful that after year it will be expunged from my record and I am very grateful that I again will have the wonderful, beautiful, clean record that I have always had for my whole life.
I'm not going to allow my reaction to this stressful situation take away from the life that I've lived because I'm very proud of my life, my choices, my family, my kids, and my personal training, and this can only be a step up and step in the right direction. Everything happens for a reason and that which doesn't kill us makes us stronger and I'm still walking around and I'm not a quitter, so I hope this helps people who don't know me understand my videos and understand my motivation. As an outsider by reading this I hope you have learned that no matter how hopeless or stressed you feel, you can take a stressful situation in your life and turn it into a positive and let it motivate you instead of destroy you, even with something not life threatening such as weight loss. When you are stressed out is when you are most likely to become dysfunctional, change your eating habits and your workout habits and allow yourself to become a train wreck. I have had some train wreck situations and have learned that this does not improve your situation when you are stressed so gear up and know that this when you really need to stick to your good habits even more. No women should ever stop being happy, sexy and most of all she should dance her way through life because it is what will give her strength.
Don't let religious leaders or political leaders convince you that if you want to dress sexy for your man that you're evil, it's just not true and you can be sexy and still be a business leader and a mom and raise a healthy well-adjusted batch of kids and I am a perfect example of that. My kids laugh at some of what I wear but it comes from a place of love and they accept me as I am, because I've accepted them and their choices. Good leaders and good politicians do not have to control the masses, and good parents do not have to control their children, they allow their children to blossom like flowers. Good parents lead by example. Hopefully my example to my kids is that when something happens in life puts you in a unique situation you don't just let life happen to you you take action and tried to make a difference!