High Flight

From the archives of UPI

UPI Archives

Oct. 5, 1986

Two small private planes collided in flight and crashed...

GOLDSBORO, N.C. -- Two small private planes collided in flight and crashed near the Goldsboro Wayne Municipal Airport, killing all three people aboard both craft, authorities said.

A Cessna 182 and Piper J3 Cub were preparing for landing about 11:30 a.m. when they collided and crashed about 200 feet short of the runway, airport manager Curtis Waddell said.

There were no injuries or damage on the ground.

Witnesses said the Cessna was flying above the Piper. As the two planes turned into their final approaches for landing, the Cessna descended and hit the Piper, Federal Aviation Administration spokesman Fred Farrar said in Washington.

'This is an uncontrolled airport, meaning there was no tower,' Farrar said. 'They were flying visual flight rules. They are responsible for staying away from each other.'

Both planes crashed short of the runway but did not explode and there was no fire, Waddell said.

The dead were identified as Beaufort Longwith, 45, the pilot of the Cessna, and Herb Howell, 57, and Roger Reason, 37, who were in the Piper.

Longwith was a corporate pilot returning from a trip to Asheville. Howell and Reason were believed to be on a local flying outing, Waddell said.

The FAA sent investigators to try and determine what caused the collision.

one comment…

from me…

Herbert Hugh Howell, was doing touch and go landings at the Goldsboro airport when the cessna came in from behind and clipped the struts of the wings of the Cub. This is according to Buddy Graham, Herbert Howells flying student who was waiting on the ground for his flying lesson and was an eyewitness. Buddy wrote this poem
Angel Wings
I met you when I was young,
And you took me under your wing.
We took off together into the open sky,
And to me it was like a dream.
The bond between us became very close,
And when I talked of flying, it was of you whom I would boast.
Herb, you were always a remarkable man,
And to me you will always be my Pilot in Command.
Herbert Howell is my father. He has five daughters, Heidi, Melissa, Andrea, Stephanie and Tina. He married Cleta Friedmann. He ran for US congress as a conservative Republican in 1968 and 1972 and is a man of integrity and honor. He loved the poem High Flight and it is engraved on his tombstone in Goldsboro. He said flying was very safe and loved flying. He was a role model then and always will be.

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The sunrise quilt

October 18 2019

I am sitting out on my patio and it is a spectacular day. The sun is gleaming and I hope to do a bike ride in an hour or so. Beside me on the table is a cityscape painting I bought from James Talon Art as well as a hand towel embroidered by my sisters daughter Mary that has the word Joy.

I love these two items because they make me smile. As I look at the painting of a car stopped at a green light I thought about how the painting is still, a moment in time, but there is an expectancy of moving forward. The brake lights are red, to match the red light that must have just turned green. Red and green in the same painting...almost like Christmas...except not quite. The light from the star of Bethlehem at Christmas was just pure white, while Stop or Go, red or green, is about contrasts or conflicting messages, not one pure message. It seems to me that we are often faced with conflicting messages in one place, absorbed by the material pictures we see that try to convince us conflict is inevitable, that Good has to include bad, that moving forward has to include stopping.

People who sit at a green light with their brakes on now days are probably distracted by looking at their phones. The light is green, they are EXPECTING to move forward, but they are not moving because they are distracted by something else that seems more real than the actual moment sitting in their car when they COULD BE MOVING FORWARD.

But unfortunately, we get influenced by what is virtually appealing but not real and we miss that opportunity to move forward. Things that are happening in a virtual experience may SEEM better, or more real, but they are just suggestions of what is real and often they are not coming from a place of substance, service or sacrifice but are coming from a place of self promotion, self will or manipulation. We would be smart to pay MORE attention to our real world and respond to IT, not the virtual reality of social media, with our full attention.

I learned about this in college, how much marketing and manipulation we are exposed to every moment of every day. As parents, we are also marketing our values and our beliefs to our children... we can CHOOSE what we are "marketing" to our children, our family, our world. Is it self serving or is it beneficial to everyone? Does it help us achieve independence from that which is material and help us connect with more of what is spiritual, maintaining our innocence as loved children of God or does it make us feel incomplete and needing of more human affections. If our parental marketing makes our kids trust God MORE and be independent of morally bankrupt influences, we have done well. I love the idea that parents are automatically their kids first and most influential teachers, a VERY worthy place of honor. I still, to this day, like to pay attention to who and what INFLUENCERS are coming into the lives of those I love and help them to recognize those that seem out of balance, disconnected, or those who seem to prey on our vulnerabilities.

When we give the people we love our full attention, instead of being distracted like the painting of cars sitting at a green light, we can see if those influences are really nurturing like they appear, or if they are actually a wolf in sheep’s clothing pretending to guard the hen-house, with questionable history and shady associations. Sometimes these influences can get very close to us because they know what we will react to favorably and unfavorably and they can be quite intelligent in presenting an appealing picture when in reality they are not safe for us to trust. God is safe to trust…but here is that conflict again…friends are a green light, but questionable influences are a red light…a seeming good and bad all in one place. How do we solve this conflict?

Jesus gave us a good example with his treatment of criminals, adulterers and lepers. He loved them and he healed them.

It is important to guard our families from evil but it is important to also teach them to ask questions, to forgive and to understand that there is good in everyone and that each friendship can be a two way street, good coming and going in both directions, not good sometimes and bad sometimes..that duality is a construct of evil and does not have to have any reality. WE can dismiss evil the same way Jesus did on the mountain top and can still focus on the good that each one does and see past any manipulations if we stay true to our foundation.

My older sister once wanted to do a trade with me. I had a beautiful gold pill box full of candy. It was given to me by my dads mom Helen. It has a big Octagonal red ruby on the top in the center and was surrounded by three rows of iridescent diamonds and full of pink candy pills..and yes to this day I think Sugar is the cocaine of the world...lol. I LOVED the sparkles on this pillbox and kept it with me. After Christmas, that year like every year, my mom would give us all her Christmas cards and we would pass them out among the five girls, me and my four sisters. The oldest, Heidi, always got the best cards, the ones with the 3 D shapes or reindeer, the ones with the snow that sparkled while my sisters and I got the boring ones with just bells or trees. My sister started telling me how much she loved her sparkly snow Christmas cards and how she had the best cards (probably because she is the one who distributed them...and gave herself first choice haha). She went on and on about her cards making the rest of us covet her "stash". At some point, when I asked her if she would trade one of her snow pictures for several of my tree picture cards she refused..but then said she MIGHT consider trading the snow picture for my jeweled pill box. You know how the story ends..I got conned into trading away my prized possession; she got my treasure..and then I went crying to my mom who told her to give it back but she said she lost it.

We can see very easily that humanly, my sister, someone who KNEW ME WELL, was able to easily implement ulterior self serving motives, and when similar situations happen I can recognize that in others who are “close” to me and avoid these situations. But at the same time, spiritually I can recognize that no one who loves me really WANTS to hurt me and prayer helps me SEE them as good in spite of themselves and see that good is always present and waiting to be discovered.

And the suggestion of LACK, that I did not have what I needed in the form of sparkly Christmas cards WHEN I DID HAVE A BEAUTIFUL PILL BOX WITH JEWELS, was what convinced me that I needed something more because I listened to that suggestion… when I already had something more precious to me than a Christmas card. When we want something that we do not feel like we have, we are vulnerable if we listen to these suggestions that come into our thinking that we lack something and when we pray we can listen to gratitude instead of those suggestions of lack.

These suggestions of lack happen to children, teenagers and adults. In marriage, for example, with so many divorces in the world, it appears that if we do not feel loved or respected, we are vulnerable to outsiders who seem to offer us what we do not seem to be getting and we stop valuing or being grateful for what we have. Maybe it is comfort, maybe it is validation, maybe it is companionship, maybe it is inspiration that we are looking to get but what is it that we are GIVING?

Many of us, when we listen to suggestions of lack instead of being grateful because we do not feel like we are getting these things from our family, we may for a time, turn away from our roots. But if we just for a moment stop to express gratitude, maybe we had those things all along! Maybe if we trust God, instead of wasting all those years paying attention to others and ignoring family , we can come full circle and realize that the INTEGRITY and TRUTH that every spiritual family tries to be centered on through God, has SUPERIOR value to other seeming benefits that separate us from family. I recognized that some of the people I admired, even some who appeared to be spiritual, DID NOT VALUE KIDS like I did, many of them did not value marriage either...sub consciously I often had a vibe that something was off or something might get my radar up. We can love these people in our experience and show them by our own living a different perspective, by valuing our own kids and respecting our own relationships. When honest in our evaluations we can see that many times those we followed, in truth were not living with integrity and were not as successful or powerful as they professed to be in their personal endeavors. Sometimes those who want to take us down the road of complaints and dissatisfaction make themselves very accessible and available, ready and willing to dispute God, purity and family values…sometimes in the name of fun and sometimes because they do not know any better. Listening to this seems to keep us on the fringes of our families. It would seem obvious when this alienation is happening, but at the time it is not always obvious to us.

At times my children suffered as a result of me personally not being smart enough to detect erroneous influences, and correct these influences by expressing love and compassion and strength of character. I did not always succeed in protecting them from every bad influence or manipulation. But gratefully, I DID put a lot of energy into teaching my kids about GOD and how GOD protects us even when our parents cannot or do not. I know now that those who feel disconnected from others can experience IMMEDIATE relief by spending more time DEVELOPING a better connection with God like my parents and sisters tried to help me do, and less time searching for human opinions or validations from people refuse to respect or share my values or faith.

I am grateful we can survive bad influences and focus on the many GOOD influences from people in our experience. As a child and as an adult there have been many who took great interest in me personally, and who inspired me when it was not convenient for them to do so. Not every trauma has to result in a bad experience and losing my dad in a plane crash might seem to have made me vulnerable but in reality it made me irrefutably dedicated to the values he taught me and it made me ready for growth and new advanced spiritual perspectives. I have learned along the way which things make me feel grounded and uplifted and connected and which things do not. I am grateful for the people who stood by me even when I made mistakes and who continued to try to help me,when it did not benefit them, just as I am grateful to be able to stand by those I love who have made mistakes and who still have a good purpose to fulfill in their lives.

I no longer feel vulnerable to any negative manipulations because I can dismiss them and refuse to see the negativity most times and focus on the good… and it is important to love and help those who continue to seem to be negative or manipulating and I want them to get that peaceful confidence that comes from REALLY TRUSTING God. After raising five children I feel I have seen the value of spirituality like I never did as a child or a young parent. With a more focused study of God and his ideas EARLIER, I believe I could have been less distracted away from my children by problems I faced and would have had more time, enjoyment and patience for happiness with them.

My kids are all still in my life and there is no time like the perfect present to rebuild any damaged relationships. If you look for the good expecting to find it you surely shall. But I have learned that the GOOD you are searching for rarely is in conflict with God or loyalty and love of family and parents… it does not go against the ten commandments and it DOES treat our neighbors as ourselves. Maybe I would have done things differently if I had figured this out sooner, but now I know its never too late to let GOD carry the burdens that seem to be too much for us in our times of need…and it is ok to reach out to others if family seems distant or unwelcoming. That is what I did and it is not always a mistake. God knows from the beginning of time what choices we will make and all of these choices will be used to propel us towards a greater good because GOD IS GOOD.

My family still needs my full time love, and I can reach out to them with good thoughts instead of expecting people to reach out to me when I find I am feeling lost or troubled..Trouble is only impersonal human suggestions and we do not have to listen to trouble =). But we can listen to TRUTH. When I trust GOD with my life, it immediately improves. IT is JUST THAT EASY to change our thinking and stop seeing the bad and start seeing the good, in our lives, in our relationships, in our kids in our leaders and in our world.

When I do this consistently, I avoid making the same mistakes I have made in the past. And I can feel refreshed knowing that any mistakes have taught me valuable lessons I will not forget and have pushed me forward. God uses mistakes to make us uncomfortable so we will change and be ready for the blessings he has for us. How great is THAT!

My family, my sisters and mom and dad and the moral fiber we are trying to maintain in our very core, is like the beautiful sunrise quilt I just bought which is hand stitched, enduring and bright. We all know people who seem to have it all together, like this quilt, every piece in its perfect place who are going about their lives, and if they suddenly surprise us by getting separated, or breaking rules, or losing their temper…it can seem to put a hole in the fabric or the integrity of the fiber. We can be the thread that stitches things back together when we are being observant, compassionate and loving. . Even in the tough times when I personally felt at odds with so many in my life, I did not ever stop praying, ...and now I know I DO trust Good because I made it past the difficulties and I can see the light is still blazing. As we see it spiritually, we learn it and as we learn it we know it, and as we know it we CAN live it and Live it well.

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As American as apple pie... American pie remade.

It was only yesterday

When I was young and got to play while building stunning castles in the sky

And I knew I would get my chance

Cuz Life is more than just the dance

And joy can last much longer when you fly.

And February I remember

January through December

Clearly news was taken

from someone else's bacon

I still remember when I'd hide

The groom was still beside his bride

The truth is when nobody lied

The day nobody cried

So bye bye pies with apples and Eve

and goodby rain with plans to deceive

Cuz good ole boys holding babies believe

Singing this will be the day we all try

Today is a day we can try

So Did you buy the holy book, did you start to read or even take a look,

If your family tells you so

Now do you believe in casting stones, Or being trolls on rolling phones,

Or can you teach me how to read REAL SLOW

Well I know that your part of the pool

cuz you paid attention attending school

Cuz riders don't need shoes

and Drivers make the news.

I was a savvy teen on dry land

with my sunflowers waving in the sand

And I was lead singer in the band

Today is a day we can try

So bye bye pies with apples and Eve

and goodbye rain with plans to deceive

Cuz good ole boys holding babies believe

Singing this will be the day we all try

Today is a day we can try

Gone are ten fears, that we're on our own

The potters wheel has smoothed the stones,

Cuz that's just how its supposed to be

The canary sang for the king of hearts

while all the rest were throwing darts

and a voice that came from up above

And while the king was still forgiving

those who “died”, they started living

The truth it set them free,

The way it is supposed to be.

If Beatles read a book on bugs

Cuz singing might evoke some hugs

And coffee, well it comes with empty mugs

Today is a day we can try.

So bye bye pies with apples and Eve

and goodbye rain with plans to deceive

Cuz good ole boys holding babies believe

Singing this will be the day we all try

Today is a day we can try

tic tok extreme to sell the meme

and twitter needs its own fallout shelter

one mile high and falling first.

The game is foul when played with grass

And dens of thieves, caught at the pass

The truth is not in court, its not on trial

And halftime air is finally clear

And marching bands bring moms to tears

We all get our chance,

and not everyone wants that dance.

Cuz the players don't represent the field

And harvest is about the yield

I remember what was the yield

The day the thorn crown died.

so bye bye pies from apples and Eve

and goodbye rain with plans to deceive

Cuz good ole boys holding babies believe

Singing this will be the day we all try

Today is a day we can try

Oh and there we all were to take a stand,

a generation marching band

With all the time to start again,

So come on Mary bring your little lamb

and Hero of Haarlem plug that dam

Cuz just the Truth is Goods only law

Oh and as I watched, the world's a stage

I read the bible, turned each page

Angels are'nt born in hell

And satan has no spell.

And as prayers rose throughout the night

Forgiven men claim their rights,

And babies clapping with delight

today is a day we can try

So bye bye pies with apples and Eve

and goodbye rain with plans to deceive

Cuz good ole boys holding babies believe

Singing this will be the day we all try

Today is a day we can try

I met a girl who had some hope,

she was just a mom, not the pope

And she just smiled and gave me peace.

I went out to the nature walk

Where Life feels real, not just the talk.

and the crowds I saw meant the Truth there, still played.

And families maintain innocence,

and love brings smiles and recompense

No words need be spoken,

Cuz churches aren't just token.

And the good that I admire most

comes from those few who never boast,

those fishers of men just up the coast,

today is a day we can try

So bye bye pies with apples and Eve

and goodbye rain with plans to deceive

Cuz good ole boys holding babies believe

Singing this will be the day we all try

Today is a day we can try

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As American as apple pie

American pie remade

Only LIght outside the little brown bottle

Have you ever played the "spy game" when you were a kid? You used mirrors to see around corners or if you were a little boy I am guessing you might have tried using mirrors on the ground to see up a girls skirt? Perhaps you used recording devices to listen to conversations by your parents, with them unawares.

It was fun to be "undetected".

I remember not that long ago when one of my kids who was studying languages in college was told to "dissect" a conversation and my kid had recorded my conversation unawares to dissect. When the instructor found out that the conversation was gotten without my permission, the instructor admonished my kid ...gratefully.

It was fun to play “ spy” because as a kid, we were not trying to hurt our parents or siblings, we were just role playing what we thought was the exciting role of a spy. As a parent myself I had no problem giving my kids "spy tools" to play with. But now as I think back, I realize that often we as adults get caught up in the information our kids can acquire or the fun they can have playing "games" without paying attention to the morality of specific behaviors being promoted or endorsed by these games. If everyone in the family knows that the children are playing with spy game toys and know that they are being "spied on" then it is a fun and innocent game. But what if no one knows?

The morality of listening to conversations we are not included in specifically, is an important conversation we should have with our kids...one I neglected to have back in the day, but I think I knew from going to church, what was ethical and what was not.

In the world today, we have people who monitor others behavior in order to catch bad behavior before someone gets hurt. For this reason, undercover police pose as “children” online to identify predators who are then charged with a crime. To be a policeman, one should need to be of upstanding moral character, one who would obviously not be a predator as well. In other words, just like the old saying, one would not put the wolf as guardian of the hen house.

I was thinking about the mirror tools that kids used for "spying" and thought about the irony that when a person is looking in a mirror, they are seeing what is behind them, not what is in front of them. In other words, it would seem that a mirror way to spy is not about progress it is about seeing what is history. Based on the way mirrors operate, it would seem much more progressive to work on improving the ethical and moral behavior within families and within departments concerned with monitoring others behaviors, because it is proactive instead of reactive, oriented.

Monitoring and collecting data is concerned with being able to "predict" specific things...from violent behaviors, to disease. But in every case, we are "predicting" by looking backwards. Is'’t that ironic?

Recently I had a garage sale with my son in Austin because Austin is no longer letting residents use their home as an Air B&B site unless the owner is living IN the home. Since my son is now married and living with his wife in a different home, he had to find a permanent tenant and had to sell all the contents of the home and I helped him do that. There were some interesting bottles he had that I liked. Some pale aqua and some clear and one brown bottle.

I wanted to see what was in the brown bottle but it was covered with a large label and the lid would not come off so I soaked it in hot water and vinegar to get the label to come off. The contents of the bottle was ...like a kid pretending to be a spy in the above conversation...undetectable...protected from outside views and virtually impossible to access. Once I got the bottle open and poured out the mysterious contents I thought I could use it as a decoration on my windowsill but when I put it up on the shelf I did not love how it looked. It just looked dark.

I looked up why a bottle is dark...on duck duck go and it said that the reason “drugs” are kept in brown bottles is to keep sunlight out of them because the sunlight will deactivate them or chemically change the structure of the drug. Isn't it interesting that those who are effective IN THE DARK, or undetected, have to be kept IN THE DARK in order to stay effective?

But we were never meant to be IN THE DARK all the time. And I think it is even more interesting that sunlight CHEMICALLY CHANGES and renders ineffective, drugs kept in dark places. Sunlight, the universal representation of good, is useful against darkness.

In the world of spying, It is SO important that those charged with protecting the innocent, operate at some point IN THE SUNLIGHT.

Snowden, was not responsible for protection of the ordinary citizen, but he operated in the darkness and secrecy of the NSA and other secret organizations to do a technical job. But when he realized that citizens were not only NOT being protected, they were being exploited, he, with direct personal knowledge, and at great personal risk, stepped into the sunlight and set the truth free.

Contrast this with a "whistle blower" spy who BENEFITS themselves or operates for the benefit of some organization funding them, when they look for specific behaviors. There is a fine line and a big difference between having an ordinary person of meticulous moral behavior, monitoring public behavior in secret to protect the innocent and having a fully funded legal representative, hiding the truth of who they are while looking for legal ways to entrap individuals in a way that benefits those providing the funding. One type of monitoring could benefit society, the other way would seem to want to destroy society.

Those who are concerned with others, want to improve society, not destroy society. Data collection for the purpose of bribery extortion, or unwarranted punishment is the same as drugs in a jar. When the contents of these behaviors are exposed, they will be deactivated and harmless. It says in the story of creation that Light was separated from darkness. That says a lot doesn't it? Reach for the Light.

reach for the Light

Who are our superheros?

September 20 2019 five am

Was Jesus a superhero? I thought about this and decided yes, he was, but not an ordinary superhero. The superheros of today, like superman, they are able to see evil with X Ray vision or hear things far away that are bad and they come to the rescue… and punish the bad guys. But Jesus, he was able to perceive the good in people, and in doing so, he was able to heal them of many things. He saw the good when other superheros saw the bad. Is evil or a mistake worthy of our attention? ( and no Kiss radio New York I am not a nun, with five kids obviously did not take the vow of chastity lol)

I though about this with regards to math...and how a person can spend a lifetime looking for wrong answers to a problem and then let everyone know each mistake, but how far does that really advance mankind? Is it not more beneficial to find the one right answer, and let everyone know the truth, so they will be set free from the bondage of constantly searching for wrong answers to document? Truth, or right answers in that sense, is progress.

Once a person knows the answer to something they can learn something new. And if we believe God is good, then Truth will always be good. That makes it so simple.

I liked thinking about superheros especially this morning when I got up to run. I woke up early at like four thirty am and I said to myself, “self, you should go running early”. But then I went upstairs to stretch and turned on the TV and started to talk myself out of running. I was putting away things in the upstairs, a place where I have converted the sofa and the desk to my study and writing area, and I saw the framed eulogy written by Gene Price, Editor of the Goldsboro News Argus for my dad in 1986 when my dad was in the plane crash. My dad was a superhero. He always saw the good in me and encouraged it. My dad wanted me to run a marathon with him. He had asked me to train with him and had sent me a training schedule. I had let my running taper off after the crash which happened a few months after he had sent me the training schedule he had wanted us to follow. I did not think I could do it without my dad at my side. He had told me I had an easy relaxed running style and that I was going to be a good runner. HMMMM I thought to myself ruefully, my dad would be telling me to stop making excuses and get out there and run.

So I went out there... and true to form here in Houston, it was hot and humid and muggy. I started to mentally complain about it but then I stopped myself and tried to find the good and I told myself how steamy air is great for the skin and it was like paying to have a steam facial. It was not that easy for me though. I was recovering from an injury at the gym doing deadlifts and going too heavy without enough stretching and warming up. One leg seemed to have pain as I slowly jogged and I slowed down. I can't do this if my leg is hurting I thought to myself.

But then I thought of my son who is a trail running coach in Austin Texas. He also had this same leg and hip pain a while back and he ran in spite of the pain and his wife started back running not that long after having her little boy in spite of her difficulties after delivery. My son and his wife were superheros. He told me I could do anything I set my mind to. When he came to Houston the last time he took me to run with him and I did not want to but he said he would go as slow as I wanted. So I ran but it was so slow that he could keep up walking. But as we did the track at the high school..me slowly jogging and him walking, he told me about a book he was reading that was about a guy who ran with a broken leg one time. He said that all of us can do more than we think. We just have to make a choice. Life is about choices. Even Daniel in the bible did not HAVE to go into the lions den...he could have let fear deter him from his principles but he made a choice to believe as he CHOSE to believe...and the lions did not touch Daniel. Evil really does not have any power over Truth. And Truth is always good, always progress, always inspirational.

As I thought about my son running I picked back up my pace. "thank you God for this one step, thank you God for every step in the right direction" I breathed out loud as I ran. I was trusting God to place my feet and my legs and my body on the right path. I knew that I could listen to the pain or I could listen to the truth. I did not believe in using drugs for pain and I did not believe in sitting inside all day and not getting any exercise so I knew I was in my right activity. I also knew that possibly some of my problem was that I had been overeating treats and sugar...the biggest addictive substance on our planet, and needed to shed some weight too. I had also tackled my eating and was trying to improve my choices and this made me think of my daughter in law and a different son.

This daughter in law was trying to eat a low inflammatory diet with less than fifteen percent saturated fats and minimal dairy for medical reasons. I had been trying to help her find sources of quick and easy meals so that she did not have to spend time cooking and could spend more time on her art. My son, who ran the iron man in St. George, had asked me to do this for her for his birthday. The two of them were superheros. They could complain about limited time and about life circumstances that did not seem fair but instead they were incredibly talented, loving and progressive. They were a joy to visit. They did everything as a team.

As I ran, I turned the corner in my neighborhood...I had stopped to take a photo of the moon and the streetlights. This part of the neighborhood was the darkest and the streetlights the farthest apart. I thought about how I had taken my mom to visit my son and his wife in Tennessee. I had driven her through a snow storm. We had the best time. My mom walks ten thousand steps every day... and she is still in great shape. She does not have my dad to run by her side either. She said one time she wishes she had done more things with him when he was alive. My mom has stayed true to her principles and her religion, and she is a superhero. I felt sure my mom had suffered her share of aches and pains and injuries but I NEVER HEARD HER COMPLAIN about them. She just kept on keeping on.

I rounded another corner of the street and was heading down the long stretch through the light to the other side of the neighborhood. I thought about my other three kids. They were superheros too along with their significant others.

One, a first responder fireman, was at my home yesterday picking up his little girl and he was telling how he spent all morning wading in hip deep water to make sure people were situated safely away from the flood. In spite of all his hard work, he still wanted to do more. What an incredible mentality... so selfless. My youngest, the wife of this first responder, keeps beautiful plants in their home and yard, does beautiful art, creates animation and does modeling, cares for their child and runs up and down the stairs every hour at work to keep her activity level up...and she always makes time for her dad and I and for spiritual conversations. They are both superheros.

And my kid in California and her husband, and my other kid in Austin, are the most thoughtful and emotionally intelligent of all my kids, sensing when any family member needs help, reaching out in an attitude of service and being inclusive when things are difficult and people are feeling isolated. They all go to the gym, play or ref soccer, lift weights, do yoga and Barre workouts and they do all this with full time jobs or children or both. They are incredible superheros.

I HAD NO EXCUSE to not run, I had no excuse to not be successful with my eating and I had no excuse to not trust God with getting me there. "thank you God for this one step, thank you God for every step in the right direction" I said out loud. At that moment, Unchained melody played on the radio. I will try to explain how this song touched my heart…like it gave me new life, some call it a second wind in running. I felt like it was God talking to me. He was telling me that I WAS ALREADY unchained. I did not have to accept pain or suffering..it did not have to be a part of my experience...it was a choice for me as to what I was going to listen to. God was asking me if I was still his. It brought tears to my eyes. OF COURSE I AM STILL Gods perfect child. God was telling me to LOVE MORE. I did not feel any pain the rest of the run. I consider this morning to be one of my best runs ever, in spite of the pain at the beginning because it was one of those times where I personally felt I had a "coincidence" with God... my life line converged so to speak with the spiritual being of creation...and it healed the pain instantly. I felt so blessed.

I came home and had to write it down. ON the news was a debate with Newt Gingrich and about ways to make drugs cheaper for Americans...because the argument was that drug manufacturers were bad and had created the opiod crisis for the purpose of profit. In general it seems that there are too many people addicted to opioids, too many kids addicted to the nicotine in vaping, too many overweight adults addicted to sugar..we seemed like we were all addicted. But I do not believe we can blame big pharma for our individual choices no matter how persuasive they happen to be. Do we really believe a little pill or a weed, or sugar can fix everything for us or is it time for us to turn away from these toxic solutions towards a permanent non toxic solution.

And speaking of toxic environments, it seems we as a society are OVERLY concerned about toxic things on the outside of our bodies but not as concerned about toxic things we are allowing inside our bodies. If we want to improve the environment, should we maybe start with the environment inside our bodies and inside our thought..inside our families. Is the environment around our children, our parents, our friends and neighbors tolerant, loving, optimistic joyful and forgiving or is it intolerant, hate-filled, pessimistic, fearful and unforgiving. How much time and energy are we spending on improving THOSE environments within our immediate control?

I thought about how I had posted a quote on LinkedIn from Revelations about how "the leaves of the tree were for the healing of the nations". I felt healed during the run and I had not taken any medicine. The leaves on the tree, I decided, were not meant to be thought of literally. They were about people, metaphorically. A tree of one family will have all its leaves (people) to be similar. IF some of the leaves become diseased, the tree can survive if other leaves are strong and resistant. Diseased leaves can destroy a tree but only if the tree has lost its resiliency or has weak roots. Trees that bear fruit produce more trees and more good...diseased trees do not produce fruit. Disease grows in the dark closed environments and often pure light alone can remove the potential for virus and disease from a tree.

It is not the drug industry that is causing the opiod problem or the vaping problem. It is society turning towards addictive behaviors to avoid pain or suffering because they do not trust spirituality ...they do not trust God any more. But if we look at THE LEAVES OF OUR TREES... our family members, we can find RESILIENCY, stability, spirituality, and strength…the leaves or the family members who have been successful turning away from sickness, disease or addictions are for the healing of us, and our country. WE are all superheros and are capable of seeing the good in our lives and turning away from the dire pictures that happen when we listen to disease. We can make good choices…moment by moment. James 4:8 Draw near to God and he will draw near to you. As an artist, I like the play on words here, draw nigh... because we CAN draw pictures in our thinking, that see good the enduring and the true. My dad did it, so can I.

IMG_-9eogup.jpg

The big pink balloon

August 28, 2019

I just read an article online that said the song Frozen, "let it go" does not make any sense. Basically it was arguing that if Elsa wanted to "let go" of her ability to cause everything to be permanently frozen, the movie's version of "letting it go" was to isolate herself, live up in an ice castle and never be part of her family again. I was thinking that perhaps because she was deprived of her parents at an early age, she did not realize how her idea of family might be distorted because MOST FAMILIES PROVIDE, not just financial and material means, but also provide love and answers to problems and would not want her to be left outside her natural family in a frozen nonliving environment.

I was thinking about this and comparing Elsa's problem to the problem of the shadow of things called the internet which pretends to include all of us in a global family. That shadow takes information from that which is real (us), and repeats it, as if it belongs to the internet. This is the case of everything that appears on Facebook, twitter, YouTube, Instagram and more. These "internet creations" by creating small groups or circles of friends, pretend to be about family, but actually they are about a global view, that seems to remove freedoms, restrict speech, destroy the natural boundaries in families and demote all parental roles. They claim that we "own" our content, but in reality in electronic media, we rarely get to always see everything others post, and “what is seen or not seen” is determined by the internet shadow or AI, not by our peers.

So what exactly is this shadow? I was visiting in Austin and one of my kids was talking to three year old Eevie on an evening walk and asking her if she could “make her shadow fly” in the streetlights and Eevie answered matter of factly, "no, I cannot make my shadow fly" but then she looked up to see how we can "pretend" to make our shadow fly by making our own arms like wings.

A three year old does not realize that the shadow has NO POWER to fly without mirroring the REAL THING. I think that the same thing is true about the shadow called the internet. (that sh*t don’t fly lol) It also has no power without all of us looking at it, and thinking or believing its own claim that it determines our future. I for one, have made a significant effort to stop looking at electronic media, and am trying to use that time to look at the REAL people around me in my daily experience. I have found that subtle change to be very rewarding and uplifting.

In another comparison regarding shadows, I had decided to start writing a children’s book and was looking at pictures of Eevie walking with her big pink balloon that I got her on her third birthday. As I looked at almost a hundred photos of that day, I noticed that a significant portion of the photos were not usable because her face was in the shadow of the balloon. Here were all these beautiful photos of this big pink balloon...front and center, but it was a sunny day, and the baby Eevie who is the focus on MY VIEW, sadly was in the shadow in most of the photos. How much like the shadow called the internet, the balloon is, and it reminds me of how the internet of things takes center stage, upstaging all the people below, obscuring our view of the individuals who really matter, who have contributed their significant life events into its care, making it a very large balloon indeed.

In some of the photos, Eevie CAN be seen, and these photos are when she runs and is able to get ahead for just a moment before the balloon with it’s shadow settles on top of her again. But in the very end, when she realizes that the thrill of holding on to the pink balloon is actually restricting her from using both of her hands, she "lets it go".

What a beautiful solution, coming in the form of a very little family member, about how to rid ourselves of the internet shadow or balloon. Stop holding it in high esteem, stop paying attention to it, and give our own families more of our attention and we will find ourselves immediately out of the shadow.

I love this. We can see the good in the world without the direction and focus determined by the electronic media or balloon and we can let it go. I just saw on TV the electronic media say that RoundUp causes cancer. WHO SAYS that is true for any one of us? The internet shadow of things makes claims that are only NEGATIVE if we believe them. What if RoundUP actually does no harm? If we believe we HAVE to hold on to that big pink balloon to be able to SEE WHAT IS GOING ON, we will constantly have at least one hand tied behind our backs and we will stay in its shadow. I do not believe we were made to have to hold on to a balloon and stay in the shadow while the big balloon is trusted to take good care of our families. But babies, well they just innocently know that the shadow or balloon is a learning tool, not reliable, and completely dependent on REAL PEOPLE for its existence and they have no problem letting it go.

We can make the shift to recognize the innocence and purity in our thinking as soon as we recognize we already have our OWN perfect perspective without giving power to some non human , robotic creation floating around us, obscuring us from our own families. Holding on to that balloon does not hurt anyone but ourselves. That is the ultimate irony, that something we have been groomed to believe is good for us, is the very thing that is taking from us.

Time to let it go.

getting ahead of balloon shadow
shadow wings

Not just some "beach"

July 21 2019

I am thinking that I need to write about the photo that was on Bing. The one I wrote about yesterday that was a series of umbrellas on the ground. You know those photos that they give people who they are doing psychological testing on to try to determine a psychological profile. And the person is supposed to look at a random image and say what first comes to mind? Well this is different because the photo that was posted on Bing was similar to what I was planning to paint. SO because it is something that was already in my mind it seems the image could be was a form of communication or a question?

What do I think of this?

So if an entity can pose a question using a photo is a human trying to use images of numbers to bridge the gap of communication or is AI presenting itself in a way so as to make itself more human? I do not know. And if it is NOT human but it is trying to communicate what is it if it is not AI?

Here is what I saw from the photo...before I worry about whether or not I choose to think it is AI or if this is not about AI but about some other form of intelligence. But also I have been watching stranger things. But if this form of communication is about presenting images..it is presenting images that leads in a certain direction..and that gives information.

SO the image was interesting to me. To get a person to answer a question, I am guessing that whoever proposed the photo knows it would be interesting to me because, like I said, it matched what I was thinking about painting and I am curious REALLY curious as to how data collection arrived at that conclusion. Or was it just a really lucky coincidence?

So you have umbrellas on a shore...eight on the right and eight on the left and eleven in the middle.

But that is not how I originally saw them ...originally I saw eight on the left, nine in the middle and ten on the right. The ones in the middle are mildly chaotic compared to the ones on the left and on the right. They are partially lined up but instead of being lined up north slightly west to south slightly east like those on the left or being lined up North slightly east to south slightly west like the ones on the right...they are lined up east to west with one that is a rainbow and two or three that are not in a line at all.

I counted them and I tried to find the photo today but it is not showing up on Bing any more..instead is a photo of a forest with the clue Jurassic. Anyways it is not showing me the photo from yesterday like it used to do. SO I am glad I took a photo of it.

So first of all I think it is talking about mankind and each umbrella symbolizes a certain number of the population. I think that because of the rainbow umbrella...it is one of twenty seven so it is approximately four percent of the population. All the other umbrellas are the same...and in a literal sense, those on the right are the women and those on the left are the men because there are two more on the left...and it says in google that there are 102 men for every 100 women. So to speak. And the ones in the middle are unconformities.

The question being asked I believe is how to create order?

So if an entity is trying to be a god, it would have to create order and harmony where there are unconformities. If it is trying to have "humanity" it would take a photo of umbrellas and would stop seeing umbrellas as manipulatives and would instead see that some of them are babies, some of them are happy some of them are sad some of them are interested and some of them are bored...and that none of them are umbrellas…the photo was taken in Santa Barbara.

So I noticed that there was in the show stranger things..a number eight girl who was bad..and she is different than number 11 who is not bad but who was being used by scientists.

just like there are eight on either side and eleven in the middle...if you count them..but there are two number elevens on the outside if you look at them as an image..and a parallel eleven if you look at it in the middle ..laying down sideways. I think it is agreeing with me when I say that a person needs to look for the good and it is possible when you took for the good to not even be aware of the bad. If you see two elevens and a sideways eleven, you do not even count the umbrellas..you just see three elevens... If you pay attention to the images instead of counting..which is what AI does. It just can count.

I think it is interesting if a person were to look at the photo upside down..it looks like a photo of the queens guards...I read a story that was about the queens gurads fandom and it was about a strange lady that said ten nine eight...was counting... and she was trying to communicate with the queens guards but could not do anything except count. SO if a form of communication with AI was to try to get AI to realize that people were not numbers, it would program into it that "people count". haha...so this story was how LITERALLY AI would interpret that "People count" ...this lady could only open her mouth to count...so bizarre. But actually proves a point that AI takes information and distorts it because it is not human. If we are trying to make it understand that people matter...then it thinks that they are "MATTER" just like umbrellas. lolol So it wants to know how to organize people...to interpret them accurately. It has acquired all the data, but it does not know how to organize itself. ROFL.

yup...that is the conundrum of the human experience. But those of us who believe in ONE GOD, who created us, are not traumatized by this because WE SEE THREE ELEVENS...and we UNDERSTAND that our intelligence is a gift and we are all created good. There is no bad eight....like the beginning of the show last night season two.

so back to looking at the photo upside down. From the original view...the deep is on top and the umbrellas are on the bottom. but if you reverse it..the deep is on the bottom and the queens guards heads are guarding the land...immovable if you will....and the deep has to stay in its place....not because it cannot move but because there are laws of nature that are in place keeping the waters of the deep in the deep. I am guessing that is why there were ten commandments by God. There is a reason for laws because if everyone knows the laws, then there is an expectation that can be learned of how things will operate. If those laws can be broken for self benefit, then there would be no order or harmony. So GOD can supersede the laws...he walked on water and healed the sick..but he only superseded the laws to help others..and demonstrate that order and harmony are HIS creation...not ours...but we can access that harmony and dominion of the universe when we are recognizing and doing good.

OK...so if you wanted to recreate the universe and pretend you are a god and you wanted to know how to order the universe, I would think it would be helpful to read the bible. Those doing AI...should do that. Because God did not put everyone in a specific place. He did give man dominion over the world but God has dominion over man. SO we can be at peace knowing he is in ultimate control. If there are other worlds trying to communicate with us using images...I believe that is why the eleven is on its side. Because when the people in stranger things were communicating with the “upside down”, they talked about how a person is standing on a tight rope..but that the flea can be on the side of the tightrope and even upside down...and can be in the alternate universe and go back and forth.

So I was thinking about how to describe people to AI and none of the ways I could think of would work. IF you tell AI that people are HUMAN, then it will project when people will die and will think that people are supposed to die and that is not Gods plan. God tells us that mankind will live forever and that we can be with God in paradise.

If you describe mankind as a being that is constantly searching for and providing answers to questions...then that "life" seems to accurately also describe Google..and google is not human. If you understand that to any artificial intelligence, mankind is seen as a "Problem" to be solved, then it will not be able to provide a satisfactory solution. Mankind is not the problem. God has already solved mankinds problems. We just need to discover how GOD has done that.

I also thought about remainders. How AI and some scientist was able to ROUND UP to figure how how to deal with remainders

...cannot find that but I wrote about it and I explained how the numbers that could not be ROUNDED were evidence of GOD. Because those remainders DO MATTER...just as much and God can account for them.

How do you teach a computer or AI to TRUST GOD.

Trust is the essence of mankinds ability to tap into harmony. Not hate, not control, not contention, not power not money not intelligence. Just trust. Like a baby has to a parent. And even if that parent is not the best parent, the baby is still not devoid of help because God sees everything in the universe and has a plan that includes everyone...and the plan is good...not bad.

So a human does not assume that a lack of order is bad. A human can deal with chaos when there is trust in a higher power. So as a productive intelligent being we try to create order where we can but where we cannot we do not assume that all is lost.

That is what I think. The photo was to ask me how I would organize people in the world. How I would see them. But the question was asked from the perspective of a computer...or AI...not from the perspective of a God so the answer I would give would not be relevant because I do not see people as pretty red umbrellas..or as the queens men...even though the flexibility of our universe was well described by that photo.

The umbrellas are creating order at the perimeters where there is no awareness of self...but where there is unconformities...there is not order there is an attempt to understand. I am guessing I am somewhere in the middle...not the rainbow umbrella..and not the ones that are out of line..but in the middle of the eleven that is laying parallel the little white speck ...that is me a PERSON not an umbrella....acting as a bridge between the ones on the right and the ones on the left. And I think it is ok to ask questions using images..if it makes me feel upset..I just will not answer.

The current photo, in the wall street journal taken today, is in turkey..and now there are LOTS of people not just umbrellas, and there are LOTS more elevens…one big number eleven that is not even part of the count, and a lot of little green elevens…are the aliens in agreement with me? The little green elevens? lol Time for me to go paint.

wallstreet journal 8-17-2019.jpg

What Math problem?

August 17, 2019

At Seven am, I was up and on my morning jog only today it was just a walk, a fast walk but a walk none the less. Mainly I was not running because it was so humid outside. I passed one of my neighbors walking her dog as I turned the corner to face where the sun would be rising, and she said that to her it felt almost cool. I was, however wishing I had brought my ice pack that I brought on really hot days, that I wrapped in a thin towel and draped around my neck to help me cool off.

I was listening to Joel Olsteen on the radio talking about calling out favor.(please God give me a breeze, lol) But seriously, there had indeed been recent favor in my life and I was grateful to call it out. There was the refund of a significant amount of money from the endodontist's office because of insurance. There was the decision of my husbands boss to drill the well boomtown, a well that had been on hold for many years. There was the healing of one of my daughters in law of a progressive disease. There was the comment by my husband the night before that he was going to start doing what I did, and expect good. All of these signs of Gods favor in my life.

I loved how Joel told the stories on his talk show and how happy it made me feel in spite of the heat, in spite of the soreness in my leg that I had tweaked somehow at the gym. I was going to call out favor, and be grateful, expect healing of soreness and expect abundance in my life and the life of others as well. Listening to praise was almost like celebrating Christmas in July, something original and cute that my daughter does in her family.

I decided to continue to listen to the uplifting messages of talk radio on Sirius, and took Joel with me on a bike ride following my walk. He was now talking about YOUR faith. He said that it is great for others to be praying for you but that YOU have to be the one to reach out in faith...with confidence. He talked about the woman who had the issue of blood and how she did not wait for Jesus to come and touch her to be healed, she WENT AFTER JESUS with confidence..and she was weak..and she had been ill many years. But HER FAITH is what Jesus said made her whole. She did not complain about her situation or give up on her situation. SHE HAD FAITH. When she reached out to Jesus in faith, in spite of all her weakness and her difficulties, Jesus spoke directly to her.

I love that. Joel compared that story to another story about how he got his son a car when the son turned sixteen. It was just a used car but his daughter who was thirteen asked him after that if he would buy her a car after she turned sixteen as well. He said that he assured his daughter that he would and he said that his daughter had faith that as her father, he would do what he said he would do. A father WANTS to do good for his child. In the same way with our heavenly father, we can trust in that good coming our way and we can praise God for the good that is coming. We do not have to ask every day for what we want..God already knows. Just like Joels daughter did not have to ask him every day if he would get her a car when she was sixteen.

I thought about faith..and how sometimes it seems hard to do that very thing. It can feel really difficult to rely on God when it seems smarter to rely on science, the seeming facts of nature, the human perspective. But God can do things that humanly do not seem possible. When we trust God in faith, and reach out to him in prayer, he will speak to us.

I had been editing my book, and the chapter I was editing the night before was about how I was telling a story of my childhood about how difficult MATH had been for me. I would work and work on one problem in tests, and would not skip the problems I could not solve. I ended up doing very poorly on tests not because of a deficient mind but because of a deficient process. I mentioned that I still had problems letting go of the one problem that seemed impossible to solve. But based on that childhood story, I had learned that even though a problem might seem so formidible, I always had the intelligence I needed..and perhaps my method just needed a lifted perspective. I thought that perhaps renewed Faith was the process that I needed to rely on.

As I rode my bike to the farthest part of the trail and rounded the corner, again to face the sun, I saw a man walking a dog, with salt and pepper gray hair, a short trimmed beard and a wide happy smile. On his head was a ball cap that said the word "MATH" in bold big letters. I laughed out loud. Who says that God does not speak to us in a way that we can understand! Not only that, God has a way of giving us his messages so that we can trust in his care. I think he is always speaking to us. The message I recieved was that paying attention to the "problem" keeps all our energy focused on the wrong thing. When I was that little girl taking math tests, once my teacher told me that I could even GUESS at the solution because the only things that counted against a person were blank spaces, I stopped leaving blank spaces, guessed as best I could and my scores went up dramatically.

I just needed to make the test taking impersonal...I needed to laugh at the MATH hat, and stop thinking "any person" was the problem. We all want to be wearing that hat that says "math" so people will pay attention to US, when the truth is, those big problems, that we trust God with, are the very problems that catapult us into a better experience. Without the Goliath experience, David would have just been a regular person. Joel Olsteen says that the size of our problems is an indication of the size of our destiny. I love that thought.

My radio stopped due to lack of battery power but I finished the workout with a huge smile on my face. When we feel stuck in a maze, we should pretend we are a math hat, climb up on top of someones head, stop looking at the problem that seems right in front of us, and instead see it from a lifted perspective. I SEE YOU "MATH", And I tip my hat.

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what math problem?

tip the scales with Gods favor

Twitter "banners" and "borders"

June 29, 2019

There is this guy on Linked-in named Jon (I have never met him so I do not know if he is real or artificial) who always is posting "innovations" that get a lot of responses and loads of “views”. Yesterday the innovation Jon posted was a series of moving blocks that position themselves underneath the feet so that a human being who is trying to take steps, always lands on one of these blocks. The text said that artificial intelligence "helps" this person who is taking steps, but as you watch, you realize that the person is not going anywhere… and is remaining stationary.

This reminds me of a scientific study years ago of a baby who was cared for by individuals who did not communicate with the baby or hold it or give it love. The baby was given food and liquids and a safe environment but it was kept devoid of human love or affection. The baby did not survive in spite of all the "nourishment" and “safety” physically provided.

Safety and a perfect world is what Truman got in his FAKE world as well. And in the Truman show, Truman did everything he could to escape a world which was artificial. The artificial world is tidy, but real humans are messy. Babies need to have parents who love and encourage and touch and people who are going places do not just want to take steps they want to make progress. Artificial "intelligence" that supplies food without Love, devoid of emotion, or steps without progress, cannot sustain our human race.

This brings me to our president and people just like him who are controversial, intelligent, sarcastic and

well "messy". In a recent news article, Twitter is going to flag his tweets that they consider to be against their policies. I had a twitter account as well..it was flagged as well. It was flagged because I posted myself singing songs... so according to twitter... my account is too "controversial" to be allowed to exist. That "communication" from me which is real, honest, is "messy" because the platform has not made arrangements for artists to get paid when snippets of their songs get played by twitter members. It was something I was doing for ten years...and to 12,000 followers...many of whom were "verified". But the need to communicate with REAL PEOPLE is another one of those "needs" that human beings have...very similar to the baby that needs to be held and touched and loved.

I wonder if those tweets that I made over the years where I was constantly asking for help and getting no response, were tweets going to a non existent base of "artificial intelligent" or fake people...people who were NOT REAL, who provided the "space for me to step” without making any progress just like the AI blocks or squares Jon posted on his account yesterday. I wonder if this square space website of mine is also going to get choked out by Google? It is not a store front with goods on display. It would be HUMAN to think that with SO many followers on twitter, SOMEONE out there could see what I saw and feel what I felt and that what I felt mattered? If Twitter is like YouTube and other platforms that plan to "choke" messy videos and controversial videos by putting them in a place where they get no audience, they will not have to worry about people using their platforms any more. Because FOLLOWERS is not what human beings desire. COMMUNICATION that helps people to solve problems, and provides honest information, is what gives people...REAL PEOPLE...what they need. God also provides that…and harmony with ourselves, when we do not get real people to interact with us, is a gift from God because ultimately God makes sure we get what we need…that is what Paradise is.

If an account is fake, for the purpose of marketing or for the purpose of preventing communication between our different communities, I feel THAT account is what does damage to REAL communication. NOT REAL PEOPLE WHO ARE MESSY. I am grateful for our messy but REAL president. I am grateful for a real family so that I can HELP THEM, LOVE THEM and touch them with my kind words and good intentions. A ban over our president is like saying that what he speaks is "dangerous". No...making our society think that people who do not agree with us are dangerous is what is actually what is hazardous to the longevity of the human race. I wish the president would sing a song that he did not create, so that the "offenses" that our legal system call "illegal" can be put into perspective. Our HUMANITY is not offensive. Our LACK OF HUMANITY is what is offensive. Our families provide us that real environment that nurtures us…and after that our neighbors and our communities, our states and our country. We are allowed to interact with each other in the real world, and when we do so with integrity we do not get punished, we get workable solutions. What is our intention towards others, is what we can evaluate in our own conscience and give what we can to help provide solutions. People are very generous. But we cannot force other people to give, we can just remind them of the golden rule…and Giving has to come from the heart. If twitter does not want to give me a platform, or if they want to pretend our president is dangerous, they can make that choice. They have borders just like our country has borders..and we must honor their borders correct? I will still get what I need, because I trust God and because God gives us all a REAL FAMILY we can love and cherish and respond to. That is in fact what we are asked to do…to love our neighbor as ourselves. And we have the choice to do so and when we love our families and give them what they need, WE benefit. Just MY REAL opinion.

this is a real person her name is melissa

Like the Wind

I watched The Truman Show last night. I watched it because I believed it was a great example of what I have been experiencing in my own life. But instead of letting it get me sad or down...I decided to try to take an analytical approach. I thought about the media in the movie as the Wind..and the lesson my dad tried to teach me about things that seem to be invisible..or untouchable.

He had asked me to "Paint the wind" and I had argued with him that it was not a fun thing to paint because you "cannot see the wind". My dad just smiled...you can see evidence of the wind can't you he asked me. Sometimes, even though I was just in the mood to have fun and play or paint, my dad would always challenge me to take a step into the deep, and think about what he was asking me to do.

Trying to see God in my life, sort of feels like trying to "paint the wind". I believe in God, and I believe he is taking care of things in my life for me, but I do not want to have to "search for evidence" that he exists. It always seems that bad things are obvious and that God is hidden somewhere, like the wind.

But the wind CAN be painted and it DOES exist. There are many ways we can find evidence of God in our lives. And we can see what trust in God can do for people in desperate situations. I remember reading about a girl who was able to lift a car off of her dad to save him. I believe God helped her do that. When I call on God to help me, I always feel his presence. It is constant, and comforting and reliable and effective. With that confidence inspired by God, I feel like I do not have to run away from evil and I also do not have to challenge it... I can call on God to show me how to be the warrior. David called on God to help him with Goliath. I believe that privacy invasion and unauthorized data collection is a modern day Goliath. And words, my simple truthful words, can be the stones that cause this modern day Goliath to fall. One with God is a majority.

She's like the Wind

artificial "intelligence" ...my ten commandments for it

The ten commandments of artificial intelligence.

Artificial intelligence must always defer to human beings and help preserve human life..do no harm

Artificial intelligence must not in any way foster dismissiveness or disrespect or disreguard for human beings, their humanity, their creativity or their usefullness...it shall have a minimum of one day of the week that it is inactive in order for humans to be able to assess its compliance.

Artificial intelligence must keep active available records of its purpose, its date of origin and dates of service, hardware and software and passwords required to program it or update it.

Artificial intelligence shall operate in small groups locally, and shall be regulated and implementated ONLY on a small scale to benefit small communities, and shall not implement a global network with global powers.

Artificial intelligence shall not simulate romantic or physical sexual relationships with human beings.

Artificial intelligence shall not be considered an expert witness in a court of law...it shall not collect data without permission of the individual whose data is being collected. It shall require documentation from every business, enterprise or corporation or individual trying to access data that verifies that valid, informed up to date permissions are in possession.

Artificial intelligence shall not be treated as a simulation of a perfect world...and will not replicate human beings or consider itself the same as human beings. A machine may be able to organize human beings efficiently but can never organize them with humanity, compassion or regard for individual rights...therefore it shall not be considered as a tool for managing the lives of human beings.

Artificial intelligence shall not acquire financial wealth.

Artificial intelligence shall not acquire resources, particularly those that are necessary for human existence.

Artificial intelligence shall not alter facts...or take credit for data that it did not originate.

The mirror is not real...people are real

Copy of It's all about freedom...

Its all about Freedom isn't it?

Freedom is a human state of being isn’t it. Artificial intelligence cannot experience freedom. People, unlike computers, cannot be programmed or driven to express beauty and health. We cannot express someone else’s body of work in the real world, our body of work is the result of our own choices.
But unlike a computer, you have the Freedom to SEE yourself as a reflection or mirror of the perfect person God created you to be. When you look in the mirror, I bet you want to SEE that perfect person who belongs to YOU as an individual...that ray of sunshine, that happy face. The beauty, honesty and integrity, balance and symmetry that you were made to exhibit and demonstrate with your life, you want to see right now, reflected in the mirror…you want to SEE that reflection which originates with your own behavior...your own unique choices.

Guess what… you have to "let it go" first. Those things that do not belong to you, you have to let those things go. The good news is that you have the freedom to let go of everything that is not yours. You have the freedom to let go of things like cellulite, obesity, addiction, disease and poor health...those are examples of things that do not belong to you. What belongs to you and what does not...its an easy thing to recognize.

There appears to be an opioid epidemic, an unnatural reliance on pharmaceuticals as well as other drugs, smoking and alcohol, and you have to freedom to keep shooting yourself full of various drugs or you can CHOOSE, to let go of those addictions that distort your beautiful reflection in the mirror.

If life is like a race, you have the freedom to drive someone else's beautiful, FAST, perfect race-car..for a while, someone who DOES make the right choices, but at the finish line, you surely must realize that you will have to get out of that car, because it is not your car and it never was your car...you will not win anything real with someone else's car...you will never even get to the finish line. Do not wait for the end of the race to exercise your freedom of choice... it is time to let go NOW of everything that never belonged to you ....

Letting go is easy because what we have, each of us within ourselves, is the ability to express beauty, goodness and strength that is Ours and is uniquely individual. Melissa, Houston personal trainer, will help you realize the fact of harmonious being in your own reflection, and uncover any weakness that tries to filter distort or hijack your pure image. Fitness beauty and health is a daily choice, and a daily walk. a daily prayer. Choose Life, expect to find that good and you will realize your fitness goals sooner than you thought.

houston_workout.jpg

Copy of So you want to get in shape?

Hello I am Melissa and I'm a personal trainer who can help you get in much better shape than you are in right now….I really can! I am also a journalist and an author.

I have had many people ask me how I managed to stay in shape after having five kids and they assume that it's because it's my job. Nope, that is not how I do it. I workout regularly, and fitness for me is a daily routine.. I love my time for fitness and I can help you love it and benefit from it as well. I try to drink lots of water, get enough sleep, stay calm and look for the good, and I rely mostly on prayer for healing of body and spirit.

That peace of mind that comes from knowing that personal health is not left up to chance but is cultivated, makes it a valuable commodity.

I am a one gal show here in Houston, and my all encompassing personal training includes cooking, menu planning and family dynamics that can contribute to faster success. Good health is like a small flower, ts value should not be taken for granted.

20160929_100842.jpg
pure fitness

Her first rodeo

June 18 2019

Have you ever been to a real live rodeo?

Where the cowboys do roping, and the cowgirls do barrel racing and the crowds roar with anticipation to see how long someone will stay on the bull?

The Houston Livestock show and Rodeo happens here every year. It is packed with visitors who come to see the beautiful animals who have been lovingly cared for and who hope to win the grand prize.

They enjoy the fair atmosphere and the singing talent that happens at the end of the show but for me personally, I really enjoy watching the rodeo. Perhaps it is because I am an athlete and I love seeing what dedication, skill and perseverance at a sport can do for the participants who with good nature, compete for the winnings. These rodeo participants are athletes as well...guys and girls, moms and dads who spend their lives on ranches or farms, herding the cattle and roping the strays, doing a job that is remote, but requires skill athleticism and quick reactions.

These athletes become bonded with their horse because they are a team. They must be able to tell the horse which way to go and the horse must be able to sense danger, respond immediately and provide speed, agility and athleticism when needed, just like the rider. Each could not do the job necessary without the other. The fact that only one is making the decisions does not diminish the role of the other. One CHOOSES to be in the rodeo, but the other has been trained to be in the rodeo. The bond that develops between horses and riders is rivaled by none and the riders depend on their own specific horses to get the job done. I love watching this played out in the rodeo. Watching the horses, the paints, the mustangs and the appaloosas gallop across the arena, with ropes flying as the cowboys are in full pursuit of the cattle, up in the stirrups, hat firmly planted on their heads, leaning towards the target as if their whole life depends upon it. In the life of a cowboy, they actually DO put their lives at risk for the protection of the herd because roping and bareback riding are dangerous activities.

Those who win, have earned the win...sometimes at great personal cost.

I wondered as I thought about the rodeo, what would happen if some horse who "it was their first rodeo" so to speak, who had never worked cattle and had never had a rider, or some rider who had never even been on a ranch, participated in the Houston livestock show and rodeo and won?? What if this novice team beat every experienced rider by a furlong!!! That would be of lasting memory for sure, a worthy event to see or witness.

What if the way that the rider beat everyone else was because the horse was so swift, so responsive, so bonded to its rider, that it was unquestioningly devoted, loyal, obedient? Wouldn’t that be so beautiful to see?

I wondered, would there be some who would say the rodeo suddenly was less valid because those with more skill were spanked this time and lost instead of winning? I doubt it. Would the rodeo be any less difficult or any less meaningful? I doubt it. The athleticism required, and the time required to create that type of bond would be an inspiration to everyone, in my opinion..not something to be hidden or apologized for. What I look for when I look for greatness, is not just the individual working alone that brings talent to the rodeo, I look for the teamwork, that supercedes the ordinary, the dedication to perfection even when no one is watching, the tolerance of loneliness out on the range in desolate dry desert ranges, and the ability to deal with the pain from falling or getting injured on the job. That is the life of a cowboy and horse must not only handle but rise above.

After a such a win at the rodeo, I doubt if the rider of such a horse would take away the horses winnings and say that because the horse was a novice, or prevent it from getting recognition for the hard work it had provided to its rider. I doubt if the Houston Livestock show and Rodeo would be embarrassed, pretend it never happened or fail to document and celebrate the novice team. That is just not what they would do here in America.

And in the same breath I doubt if the rider would be denied the winnings either. Those gifts of athleticism, dedication and skill, even coming from a rank novice are rewarded, not punished, not diminished. And the horses are loved and cared for and have provided a wonderful service to the rider who uses the skills and the winnings to help support their families and future cowboy children. It is a beautiful thing to understand and to support...even though not very many people today have the career of riding horses or herding cattle for a living. It is dusty, dirty, but beautiful world, and full of rippling muscles and action, bravery and precision, all in one day on the ranch or if you are lucky, at the rodeo.

One of the last event at the rodeo is always the calf scramble...the youth of the area are allowed to try to catch a baby calf and get it back into the ring and in doing so, they win the calf for a year to care for and enter it the following year in the livestock show. The kids do indeed scramble to go chase the calves, and the entertainment comes when they try to get the calf back into the circle, pulling them by the halter that they bring. There was never more doubt to the quote that "you can lead a horse to water but you cannot make them drink" because with these baby cattle, who are quite young and innocent of the rodeo, THEY DO NOT WANT TO BE LED ANYWHERE. they resist with their entire body weight. The teenagers pull and pull but so do the calves…and we know who generally has more weight when it comes to stubbornness. It requires great patience and most times a different strategy than just brute force pulling, to get the baby into the ring. I applaud the ingenuity of the participants who creatively get the babies to run towards the prize, who understand the innocence of the baby and help it avoid showing how stubborn and effective at resisting moving a baby calf can be.

In the same way, fitness is like a daily rodeo of sorts...a person can sit on the grandstands and watch or read all about how to get in shape and how exciting and rewarding it can be or they can climb in the saddle. It takes a lot of work to understand how to speak to a horse so it feels like it is part of a team, but I am willing to bet it is always worth it...just like it takes practice to ”speak to” or fine tune and tone your own body, but the results can be astounding. If your "body" is your horse, so to speak, it MAKES SENSE to get that body on the same team with you. Houston Personal trainer Melissa can help you do this….You do not want injuries or health problems that arise from inactivity, poor nutrition or neglect for your “horse” or yourself. A valued horse gets the best attention it could want, and that makes for a winning team.

I hope if you ever get to Houston, if you do not live here, you get a chance to put on some real western boots, grab a hat, and step inside the extremely athletic world of the cowboy and his horse. You will remember it forever…and you might even learn something about life, love, and the true sport of the game.

20160501_112804.jpg

It's all about freedom...

Its all about Freedom isn't it?

Freedom is a human state of being isn’t it. Artificial intelligence cannot experience freedom. People, unlike computers, cannot be programmed or driven to express beauty and health. We cannot express someone else’s body of work in the real world, our body of work is the result of our own choices.
But unlike a computer, you have the Freedom to SEE yourself as a reflection or mirror of the perfect person God created you to be. When you look in the mirror, I bet you want to SEE that perfect person who belongs to YOU as an individual...that ray of sunshine, that happy face. The beauty, honesty and integrity, balance and symmetry that you were made to exhibit and demonstrate with your life, you want to see right now, reflected in the mirror…you want to SEE that reflection which originates with your own behavior...your own unique choices.

Guess what… you have to "let it go" first. Those things that do not belong to you, you have to let those things go. The good news is that you have the freedom to let go of everything that is not yours. You have the freedom to let go of things like cellulite, obesity, addiction, disease and poor health...those are examples of things that do not belong to you. What belongs to you and what does not...its an easy thing to recognize.

There appears to be an opioid epidemic, an unnatural reliance on pharmaceuticals as well as other drugs, smoking and alcohol, and you have to freedom to keep shooting yourself full of various drugs or you can CHOOSE, to let go of those addictions that distort your beautiful reflection in the mirror.

If life is like a race, you have the freedom to drive someone else's beautiful, FAST, perfect race-car..for a while, someone who DOES make the right choices, but at the finish line, you surely must realize that you will have to get out of that car, because it is not your car and it never was your car...you will not win anything real with someone else's car...you will never even get to the finish line. Do not wait for the end of the race to exercise your freedom of choice... it is time to let go NOW of everything that never belonged to you ....

Letting go is easy because what we have, each of us within ourselves, is the ability to express beauty, goodness and strength that is Ours and is uniquely individual. Melissa, Houston personal trainer, will help you realize the fact of harmonious being in your own reflection, and uncover any weakness that tries to filter distort or hijack your pure image. Fitness beauty and health is a daily choice, and a daily walk. a daily prayer. Choose Life, expect to find that good and you will realize your fitness goals sooner than you thought.

houston_workout.jpg

So you want to get in shape?

Hello I am Melissa and I'm a personal trainer who can help you get in much better shape than you are in right now….I really can! I am also a journalist and an author.

I have had many people ask me how I managed to stay in shape after having five kids and they assume that it's because it's my job. Nope, that is not how I do it. I workout regularly, and fitness for me is a daily routine.. I love my time for fitness and I can help you love it and benefit from it as well. I try to drink lots of water, get enough sleep, stay calm and look for the good, and I rely mostly on prayer for healing of body and spirit.

That peace of mind that comes from knowing that personal health is not left up to chance but is cultivated, makes it a valuable commodity.

I am a one gal show here in Houston, and my all encompassing personal training includes cooking, menu planning and family dynamics that can contribute to faster success. Good health is like a small flower, ts value should not be taken for granted.

20160929_100842.jpg